Grief support can be tricky.
It’s always hard to know how to lend support to loved ones who are grieving. I never like getting flowers because they seem celebratory and even cloying. In some cultures, a card and money are given. That doesn’t seem right, either. It’s not a wedding.
The best of all support options is to spend time with the person who is grieving. But sometimes, we’re too far away to do that. Sure, we can call, and that’s an especially nice thing to do after everyone has gone and the inevitable loneliness sets in. Calls are wonderful ways to show support.
When you can’t lend support in person
On top of that, though, and especially if you are distant, it’s nice to send a little something and that’s how I came up with these gentle, beautiful grief affirmation cards. They’re a thought a day for 50 days, meant to help folks honor and work through their grief.
Honoring grief means not pretending it goes away. It’s accepting grieving as part of life and finding a way to feel through it. These affirmations help folks do that.
There are 50 cards in a deck and some clients tell me they pull the deck out each time they suffer a loss because the thoughts on the cards are so helpful.
The affirmations can be used as a meditation thought or just something to think about each morning and throughout the day.
Pretty inside and out
They come in a pretty, lavender organza bag and are compact enough to fit in a pocket or handbag.
The cards are included in my two condolence gift packages but can also be purchased separately. At $14.95, they are super-affordable. And through the weekend, shipping on the grief affirmation deck is absolutely free.
You can find the cards here on this site, and for free shipping through Sunday night enter the checkout code Cards.
I’ve been there. I know how that feels. No matter the reason, you just can’t get into the season. And oh, there’s plenty of reason.
So here are some easy tips for getting through this tough time of hard holidays.
- Remember it’s finite. Come January 2, the festivities will be over for most cultures. Hold on to that end time!
- Control your environment. If holiday decorations are hard for you, stay away from malls and most places that go heavy on holiday decor.
- Get out of the house. But. Do things that aren’t holiday related. Go to a movie. Have coffee at a friend’s house. Peruse a bookstore or a museum.
- Avoid Memory Lane. Don’t think of happy holidays past. Think of something else. Definitely stay off the Hallmark Channel.
- Develop a meditation practice. YouTube has tons of them and there are apps like Calm and Headspace that offer free meditations.
- Be good to yourself. A long bubble bath. A good book. TV movies. A massage. A Reiki session.
- Start each day with an affirmation. Remember our grief and our healing affirmation decks set the tone for each day and are appreciated by customers who use them. See them here on this site, check the tabs up top of home page.
and if you live in the San Francisco Bay area, attend 30 Days for a Stronger Mind, Body, Spirit. It’s our two-hour workshop that will show you easy ways to make the most of 2019. It’s a fast-paced, helpful event on January 12 and all attendees will get a welcome bag with morethan $600 worth of wellness products, services and discounts. For more information see this link.
My Gosh, I know some unkind people and I’ll bet you do, too. Pretty sure they operate out of things like fear, scarcity, feeling unloved.
I’m also pretty sure that if asked, they would consider themselves to be kind people. And I’m sure they are, in lots of ways.
Just not all ways.
So to combat the unkindness in the world, I think we should all toss kindness around like confetti. Let it cover every bit of the unkind world we live in.
Random acts of kindness or just being more patient. Nicer. I know I’d like to do more of that.
One act of kindness is to gift someone with a deck of our lovely healing affirmations. There’s one for healing that is helpful for everyone, not just those who are sick, and another for those who are grieving.
Check them out here.
They may not have told us fear keeps company with grief, but I get how it does.
When someone we love dies, we lose more than just that person: we lose the role they played in our life. That whole chunk of who we are dies with them. And so does our identity.
When a spouse dies, it’s the demise of a big part of our life. All of the little things we shared are gone, in an instant. What does that new life look like without our partner?
When we lose a child, it’s gut-wrenching. It means an entire overhaul of almost every aspect of life and can be pretty scary to consider. In fact, we may ask the question, “who are we now?” We’re unmoored. Disconnected. Floating free in some new place.
So yes, fear.
I spoke with my mother by phone every single day and when she died, it took years for the urge to call her to wane. Those calls were a big part of my routine, my life. It was how we stayed connected across the miles. Who would I share good things and bad if she were gone? Who could I ever be that close to? She was part of my life and I didn’t know how life would be without her. So yes, I felt fear.
A mother I know who lost her child told me she awakens every morning in fear of another day without being mother to her daughter. She’d rather pull the covers over her head than deal with that fear. Or that fact.
So here’s the thing: there is no easy answer. No easier path through. All we can do is feel the fear and keep moving, breathing through it, walking through it.
Because grief is one of the hardest journeys anyone can take. And the truth is, we take it alone.
If you’d like to help someone along their journey, consider one of our beautiful, sensitive grief or condolence products. Many customers tell me that our affordable, sensitive Releasing Grief affirmation deck helps them walk through it personally and even spiritually. Our Guided Journal through Grief helps them come to terms with their loved one’s passing. No, not “get over it.” That’s not what happens with grief. It can transform, but it never goes away.
And some customers give our affordable condolence gift over and over when there’s a loss simply because their loved ones find them so helpful. All of our products, including the gifts, are priced to be easy on your budget because I believe in them. And so do many customers. Imagine giving a beautiful deck of healing affirmations for grief for only $14.95.
Every now and then I like to pop in and remind everyone about how powerful affirmations are. Sometimes, I’m asked, “can you actually visualize yourself well?”
On vacation in London last month I was feeling unwell. In fact, I felt like I was coming down with something. Aches, congestion, it was happening just as our London vacation was kicking into gear.
So what did I do?
I used affirmations and visualization. I believed I was healing. I visualized it. I sent healing white light coursing through my body. I made positive, affirming statements just like the ones in my healing affirmation deck. (After all, I DID write them…)
Later in the day we attended Evensong at St. Paul’s Cathedral. The church was beautiful. The organ and choir inspiring. But I still felt unwell. We left a bit early.
Back at the hotel, I had another session with affirmations and visualization. Again, I sent healing white light through my body.
The next morning, I felt fine.
Can you visualize yourself well? I don’t know. I just know what happened to me.
To get your own deck of healing affirmations for the ridiculously low price of $14.95 order here. And this week, free shipping on all printed materials and gift packages–all this week!
That IS a ridiculously low price for the possibility of having the same experience I had. I am not promising you’ll heal. Or have the same experience I had.
But I am saying that, for sure, it can’t hurt.
There’s so much chronic pain in our world that someone can help people release pain could make a fortune. You’d think that, right? Yeah and Big Pharma operates off that thought. But most of us would rather avoid yet another pill or worse, an opiate addiction. Although it’s true that most people want the seemingly easy path of meds: take a pill and it all goes away.
No one really likes Big Pharma
Maybe it does go away. But what replaces it? If you’ve ever listened to the list of potential side effects in any drug ad on TV you have to wonder why anyone takes prescription drugs. When death is a side effect, you can count me out. Same with so many other unintended consequences of taking a pill.
I’m not a big fan of taking a zillion supplements, either. For one, they’re not regulated in any way. There’s no way to know what the heck they’re doing to us or even the right dosage. And being a “natural substance” is no guarantee of anything.
I do think there’s a time and place for pain meds and even for supplements. But not as many times or places as they’re being used.
There ARE other options for pain relief.
More natural ones.
A big one is hypnotherapy. Now, I’m a hypnotherapist and have worked with people who have had amazing results. I know it works. It’s not strange, occult or even magical. It simply harnesses the power of the brain to reduce or eliminate pain. And I love that it works.
Affirmations can also work and an example from my beautiful healing affirmation deck is in the top image. Actually that affirmation combines another thing that works–breathing into pain. That technique has helped many, many laboring mothers over the years. And the affirmation refers to another technique we use in hypnotherapy, and that is visualizing pain being released out into the air when you exhale.
Don’t discount breath work to release pain
In fact, a number of physicians will tell you that breath work is a potent tool for pain relief. And others, including a major pain doctor, will tell you that you absolutely can reprogram your brain to manage pain. We do both in hypnotherapy.
So here’s the thing. There IS no easy way to release pain. Although people who don’t know much about hypnotherapy might think they can sit down for a session and be done with it. Doesn’t work that way. For most people, it takes working with the technique over time–repetition–to get the effect. It takes time and effort. Because you are, in fact, reprogramming your brain. But science has shown that if you can do that, you can also manage pain. It can work. That much we DO know.
If you’ve got chronic pain, consider hypnotherapy. I offer hypnosis services via Skype and it’s effective. There’s no magic to being in the room. The magic is in the voice and following the voice–which is so much easier with earbuds on Skype than in person! And take a look at my beautiful deck of healing affirmations, that can also support pain management and make a lovely gift alone or as part of our gift package. Yes, live links.
I’d love you to come away from this post knowing that there are ways to manage pain without drugs and willing to explore them if the need arises.