How to manage the struggle right now

How to manage the struggle right now

So many people are struggling at the moment. No one likes their activities to be restricted and yet the options are stark: eliminate most activities we know and love or looked forward to — or risk death or terrible, llngering side effects.

Yes, there are those who don’t connect with the risk, but I’m not talking to them. I’m talking to YOU. Those of you who are worried and/or vulnerable. Those who have learned enough about the virus to want to steer clear. Those who value what they hope lies ahead and want to preserve those options for the still unknown future.

Yes, I’m talking to you. 

It’s important to feel your concerns and fears. To voice them to trusted friends who know how to listen. We have to get those feelings out. Because the struggle is real and we all share it.

the-struggleAnd then? It’s important to let them go. Because living with resentment and the feeling we’ve been cheated is no way to live. It’s also not a good thing to model for the kids in our lives.

It’s not useful, either, because there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. The virus will run its course in months or even years and we will have to adapt —  or live in constant grief for the way it was.

Life is not the way it was and may not ever be the way it was. We may never go back to those carefree days, or at least not for a very long time. The struggle with that is real, but it is also futile. And harmful to our mental and physical health, both.

We’re taught to be masters of our own destiny. To create our lives. To manifest our desires.

Apparently, the Universe has other ideas at the moment.

So here’s how to manage through this period:

Accept that at this moment, we are completely powerless over something: the virus. But this isn’t forever. It’s just right now.

Realize that we do have power and agency over our own actions and our own thoughts.

Consider whether you accept our obligation to our fellow man and to ourselves and want to keep everyone safe. Or if you are bound and determined to do what you want, regardless of others.

Once you’ve expressed your emotions and gotten them all out, move forward. Accept that this is how life is at the moment and find positive ways to work within that.

There are any number of online resources with suggestions for things we can do to make life more interesting: video calls and parties, reading, streaming, walks, learning music on line or a new language. Or just taking time for yourself to do nothing.

Resources also abound for jobs that are opening up. New kinds of jobs. Or new to you. Check into it all. And there are relief programs. It’s all imperfect, but every day I see people fitting solutions together. Not the solutions they necessarily wanted, but effective stop-gap solutions.

Any emphasis on what we AREN”T able to do just isn’t useful to a healthy life during this pandemic. Attitude is everything.

the-struggleIt’s pretty clear that we’ll never see our old lives back. But. Eventually, the risk will be lower. Eventually a new way of life will develop. We will learn new ways of living and working and relating.

We’ll grieve the old ways for a long time. But right now, as so many of us are focused on survival, it’s helpful to set that grief aside for a bit as we maintain good mental and physical health to manage through what’s in front of us. Let the Universe unfold as it will. Go on with your life as it is right now.

This is not my usual counsel on grief. But this is what I’ve come to see as most useful at the moment.

If you’d like to consider some hypnotherapy to help with anxious thoughts or a regression by Zoom, let’s talk about it. First, visit the home page here and see the tabs for hypnotherapy and for regression, then schedule a call to discuss it. It’s easy.

That’s what I’ve got for you today. Thank you for being part of my community. Would love to hear your thoughts.

How to deal with the tempest

How to deal with the tempest

“The heavens don’t always protect us. They choose, on occasion, to throw down challenges instead of simply showering more blessings on our heads.

“Not every tempest passes in  an instant. Not every deluge can be brushed off.
We can cower, we can wait for blue skies to be restored or we can take the plunge, defy the elements and we can seize the day.”
  ~Call the Midwif

Look around at the many expressing anxiety with life during a pandemic, our version of “the perfect storm.”.  It’s only human to focus on what we’ve lost. Our freedom. Maybe our jobs. Our level of comfort with the world as we knew it. As it no longer is.

These are huge losses. It’s important to acknowledge them.

It’s also important that we confront our reality and figure out how to deal with both our fears and this new world around us. To “seize the day,” as  the writers at Call the Midwife call it. And not cower in fear or anxiety.

I’m defying fear by moving forward with my life even as I remain in quarantine for…however long I must. Friends meet up with us on Zoom. I write. I send cards and emails. I watch streaming content. I read. And I craft the way I want my life to be on the other side of this.

With every breath I’m defying the horrible, venal, inhumane things going on today. And living.

Not every tempest passes in an instant. But this one can pass.

Every vote counts. Every vote.

The power of not thinking

The power of not thinking

My default has always been logic. Yeah, not so helpful right now. But in a chanting workshop with Nina Rao the other day, she mentioned advice given by her own guru, whenever Nina would come to her for counsel.

“Don’t think. Do your prayers. Find the answers in your own heart.”

If we’ve lived our entire lives by thinking things through, this can be hard to accept. And challenging. It involves trusting in the Divine. And it involves trusting in our own hearts.

Prayer is simply activating a connection with the Divine…or the divine in ourselves. It can take many forms.

As a young Catholic girl I memorized prayer that had little true meaning to me. As an adult, I read more contemporary prayers written to reflect how we speak today. But at this stage of my life, chanting is my prayer. So is simply talking to the Divine. Or to my own heart. Meditation can be prayer.

It may be counter-intuitive to advise don’t think when faced with a decision. But our hearts are wiser than we might imagine.

And of course, so is the Divine.

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Comforting words for an imperfect, shifting world

Comforting words for an imperfect, shifting world

I found so much inspiration in this, it was as if it were written for this imperfect time. I had to share these comforting words from the writers at Call the Midwife: (maybe writer Heidi Thomas is the only writer. I love her.)

The world shifts around us, and we shape ourselves to fit. Imperfect and beautiful, wounded and thriving. Delicate, invincible, forever moving on.

Time is not the tide… it moves in only one direction.

Go forth with courage and in hope.

Change is not loss.  We must run with it, dance with it, give it all we have.

Change is not loss…go forth with courage and in hope. Such comforting words right now.


Would you like some free downloads for coloring?

Would you like some free downloads for coloring?

Few things are as calming as coloring for adults…it’s like a step back into a more innocent time. The focus required of coloring is a great distraction. And we sure could use distraction!

Of course, what kid doesn’t like to color? And maybe they’d like something new to work on.

If you’d like some free coloring pages for adults OR for children, you’re in the right place! Free downloads for adults first, and below, for kids. Enjoy!

For Adults

On Pinterest:

For Kids

Do you think we’re on the eve of destruction?

Do you think we’re on the eve of destruction?


{ I wrote this. months ago, BC, but it applies even more today. }

Every time I hear Barry McGuire’s song, The Eve of Destruction, it feels like we’re there right this minute. As I’m sure he felt in 1965 when he wrote it. The song addresses racism, injustice, hypocrisy–all things we’re still dealing with some 55 years later. We’re a nation badly in need of healing. More now than ever.

Maybe it’s just the way of the world, to be always teetering on the edge of doing ourselves in.

Here’s what I know: I can’t remember a time in my life when there was more anxiety. Real anxiety. Clinical anxiety.

So let’s break down McGuire’s message and weigh it against the world today:

Don’t you understand, what I’m trying to say?
And can’t you feel the fear that I’m feeling today?

Take a look around you, boy, it’s bound to scare you, boy,
But you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

Fear. Anxiety is rooted in fear. A lot of people look around and are fearful these days. People of all stripes. And for all reasons. Corona virus. Undocumented immigrants. Loss of privilege. These are very real fears. Real to the people who feel them.

Clever politicians use these fears to get (or remain) in power. Is there anything scarier than the idea of an “illegal immigrant” raping and murdering? No matter that the actual facts show that illegal immigrants do not commit more crimes than U.S. citizens. And unscrupulous politicians use that fear to get in office and use it continually to bolster their support. Fake facts. “Alternate” facts. It’s mind-boggling how they depend on keeping us in fear.

Yeah, my blood’s so mad, feels like coagulatin’,
I’m sittin’ here, just contemplatin’,
I can’t twist the truth, it knows no regulation,
Handful of Senators don’t pass legislation,

Well, it’s true. The Senate’s holding up bills passed by the House. Power. It’s about power. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And marches alone can’t bring integration,
When human respect is disintegratin’,

This is another part of today’s world that makes me shake my head. All the integration efforts and civil rights legislation during my lifetime haven’t paid off in a fairer world. We are just as bigoted as we ever were. It’s mind-boggling.

This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’,
And you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

I’ve cried in frustration. Have you?

Think of all the hate there is in Red China!
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama!
Ah, you may leave here, for eight days in space,
But when you return, it’s the same old place,

That upsets me the most: It’s the same old place. Nothing significant has changed. In some ways, it might even be worse. Will corona be the catalyst for real change? I hope it is and I’m afraid it won’t.

The poundin’ of the drums, the pride and disgrace,
You can bury your dead, but don’t leave a trace,
Hate your next door neighbor, but don’t forget to say grace,

Ah, the hypocrisy of fundamental Christians. Ecumenical Christians. Whose behavior bears not the slightest resemblance to what Christ taught. Oh, it’s not just mind-boggling. It’s shocking. Because it shows us how ignorant these folks are. Just plain ignorant. Gullible. So gullible. And easy to control.

And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

I’m not so sure how our country will get the healing it so badly needs. I just don’t know.

Here’s the song.

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Managing Anxiety Audio

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