Can we really calm our fears?

Can we really calm our fears?

The short answer is “Yes.” And here are some suggested ways:

You might be wondering if it’s really possible to manage fear right now, because it’s the toughest fear of all: of death.

Is there anything more terrifying than coming face to face with our own mortality?  It’s now something each one of us faces.

In our modern world we’re used to having a solution to most things. But this is different.

It’s not unprecedented, either. These “plagues” have happened throughout history. Just not in a very long time. It’s unfamiliar territory. So it’s no wonder we’re facing a national anxiety attack.

There’s no instant way to calm how we feel. But consider this: most of our fear is knee-jerk—automatic. We don’t stop to think through–rationally– how likely the worst case scenario really is.

I don’t have a magic bullet to manage fear. It takes being proactive (as in actually working to manage it) and also being aware enough to not let our fears run away with our emotions. Some reminders about how we can get through this.


If you’ve got it, lean on it. I try to access the calm I had going into my surgery this year, in which my faith assured me there could be no bad outcomes. This was the first time in my life I’d leaned on faith and it didn’t let me down.

Stay away from the news

Glance at headlines but don’t feed into the bad news frenzy which fosters more and more anxiety. I don’t need to know about more people dying, how they die, the risk factors for death or anything else. I know to stay home, to maintain hygiene and physical distance. A glance at headlines will tell me anything I need to know. Or my husband will.

Be busy or not

Sometimes we just need to space out on nothing, play with pets, take naps, watch mindless videos. If you feel like being busy, do it but there’s no obligation. Some of us can’t focus enough to get stuff accomplished. We get a pass.

Don’t fixate on the worst happening

If you do, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Try to let things flow. Note what is passing through your mind and make a choice about what you want to do with that. If you want to focus on anything focus on the love you see around you. Because I’ll bet there’s plenty.

Focus on what we have

Don’t focus on what we don’t have in our life right now. Focus on what we do have.

Life is different. It’s natural to miss our familiar routines and activities. Avoid focusing on what’s missing and instead focus on what we have: time and plenty of it. To do something or to do nothing. It’s our choice.

Avoid adding anti-anxiety meds if you can

If you take them regularly don’t stop, but if you don’t, this is the time to try to manage anxiety naturally.

Try my free downloadable audio for managing anxiety that can relax you easily. It’s guided imagery. Listen daily, using earbuds but not while driving or doing anything else. Find it here.

If you’d prefer to get a daily emailed mantra for positive good health, so you start the day with a positive thought, they’re free, too. You get one a day for 35 days and you can sign up here.

And if you’re already battling a condition, you can get 50 healing affirmations (one a day) free by email as well right here.

Share these helpful tools with anyone suffering anxiety or who needs help to manage fear. There’s no catch, you won’t get added to a mailing list.

Thanks for visiting…Stay safe, well and anxiety-free.

Free Resources To Help With Fear, Anxiety & Centering

Free Resources To Help With Fear, Anxiety & Centering

Our biggest challenge now might be to manage anxiety and fear, and to keep centered.

Three of my products are now COMPLETELY FREE

to help us all with the anxiety that can easily take hold in this strange new world.

Share this post with anyone who might find it helpful. Free and no strings attached: no one will be added to a mailing list.

For managing anxiety

This 24-minute guided imagery for managing anxiety has helped many. Use checkout code FREE to download it free right here.  

Download instructions in your confirmation email.

Use earbuds and settle into a chair or bed. Do not use while driving or doing anything else, as it is super-relaxing. It’s also a good tool for insomnia.

Daily thoughts/mantras for good health

Positive thinking has been shown to boost our immunity and help manage anxiety. Get an email a day for 35 days, each with a positive meditation thought for health or peace of mind.

Save them and when you’ve gone through them all start again. Free, no checkout code needed. Sign up here.

Healing Affirmations

Our helpful, hopeful healing affirmations for those coping with a disease or chronic condition are now available free as an online subscription.

You’ll get an email a day for 50 days, each with a healing thought. A helpful tool if you are in treatment or dealing with any kind of health challenge. Completely free (no checkout code needed)  right here.

We’re all in this together, and in that spirit, I’m happy to make these tools available to all. Please share as you see fit.

Oh and if you or anyone you know would like to receive my several times a week posts (now mostly about ways to cope with our new world), sign up on the home page, right here.

May we all find our way out of this to a world more like we remember.  Sending peace, love, light your way.

Is it ok to be human?

Is it ok to be human?

be-humanA reader suggested I write about how to handle it when you’ve caught yourself being judge-y (after reading this post last month)

Here’s her comment:

Maybe you could do a follow-up post on how to handle it when you’ve caught yourself being judgey, especially if you’ve said the snarky comment out loud (& maybe hurt someone’s feelings). We all do it….

Is it ok to be human? is her real question. And what do we do about it?   The answer is in the word BE.

Being judge-y is being human. Sure, we’d all like to be evolved and so spiritually oriented that we don’t judge. But hey, we’re human! And don’t I know it, too.

I’ve done things that I regret, that I’m embarrassed about, said things I wish I hadn’t. I’m guilty of being human. So here’s what I do and maybe you’ll find something in that:

  1. If an apology is necessary, I do it. Without any hedging.  We almost always know when we’ve hurt someone and usually we do not intend it. So I apologize. “I’m sorry” is so powerful a sentence.
  2. If clarification is needed, I might say “That didn’t come out right. What I meant to say is…” or “I don’t know what that means, let me try again.” Or, “that was really bitchy and I didn’t mean it to be. What I really mean is…”
  3. Avoid using “but” … as in “I’m sorry but…” or ” I didn’t mean it, but…” The word “but” negates everything that came before it.
  4. Here’s a big one for me. NEVER say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” It is such a hot button when I hear it–because it puts the onus on the other person, not ourselves.  What I really want to hear is ownership:  “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
  5. Did I mention that we should certainly not judge ourselves for being human? That really is the crux of the message Baba Ram Dass brought to us in that quote. We say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend. Being kind to ourselves, not beating ourselves up –no need to do that. Because we are ALL human!
  6. None of us is perfect. Allow yourself to be human, in all its messiness. Don’t beat yourself up.

My father was super-intolerant of mistakes and that’s how I was raised. But as I grew up, I realized this: It’s ok to make mistakes. Just make it right when you can.

So that’s my answer. What do you think?  What do YOU do when you completely step in it


How you can love-bomb someone for free

How you can love-bomb someone for free

love-bombThis is my year of love bombing, as you know if you follow me. Wouldn’t it be a great world if everyone did this?  And it doesn’t have to cost a cent. It can be 100% free. Here are some wonderful love bombs:

Give a compliment to someone every day.

Compliment someone’s smile. Tell them what a bright light they are (if they are). Tell them how much you love being in their company. How much you appreciate what they bring to their work, to the world, to their friends–how much you appreciate THEM.

Hold the door for someone every time you can.

Simple thing. A kindness, really.

Let cars stuck in traffic go ahead of you.

Drop by to see someone who is sick or grieving. Call, first, though.

Send a real card to someone who needs a lift. Dollar store cards are  50 cents but if you have some in your card file, it’s almost free. Well, postage. But you get the drift. Yes, you can send an email but it is so beautiful to get a handwritten note on a card.

love-bombIf you see a mom struggling with a cranky kid, ask if you can help.

Let someone with fewer items than you go ahead of you in the grocery line.

Offer to walk someone’s dog a few times if they need help.

Call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time just to say hello.

Cook a meal for someone who is sick or grieving. Or a harried mom.

Pick some flowers from your garden and give them to someone for no reason at all. Just because.

Invite someone for tea or coffee at your home for no reason or because they might need to talk.

Walk a shelter dog if your local shelter or rescue has a program.

If you’ve been really busy, love up on your dog or cat for no reason at all–just because they love love.

It’s time we all looked up from our phones and became aware of what’s going on around us. Opportunities to love bomb are everywhere. If you love-bomb every day, you’ll be happier and you’ll make a better world. Imagine if everyone did this?
If you want to spend a few bucks for someone who’s healing or grieving, see our affordable gifts and our candles.

How to view your life with kindsight

View your life with kindsight.
Instead of asking “What was I thinking?”
pause and ask the kinder question:
“What was I learning?”
_Karen Salmansohn

I love this. Kindsight.

Maybe like me, you’ve had a bunch of occasions in life when you made decisions that perhaps didn’t turn out so well.

I’m lucky (ahem) enough to have had a few trusted friends who haven’t been afraid to ask “What were you thinking?” Ok maybe more like “WTF were you thinking?” And there’s a purpose to that. I want friends like that.

But it’s not useful to berate ourselves for actions of the past. Looking at our actions with love and asking the kinder question, “What was I learning?” is brilliant.

Just brilliant.

This works also for grief and illness.


It’s 20/20.
Remember our beautiful candles & healing gifts right here. Just go to the home page and the tab you’re interested in up top.

Want a beautiful, helpful gift for a loved one?

Want a beautiful, helpful gift for a loved one?


Healing affirmation deck: 50 pretty, compact cards.

To honor the memory of my beautiful friend who inspired my business, and my mom, for whom I grieved hard for a long time, I am offering both my Healing Affirmation decks and Grief Affirmations on a 2 for 1 sale.

You may not know that my friend actually used the very first (and very crude) version of the healing affirmations during her last illness. One day when I was visiting her at Stanford Medical Center she turned to me and said, “You need to make these and sell them. They are so helpful!”

After she died, three years ago this month, that’s exactly what I did.


Grief affirmation deck: 50 supportive, helpful cards.

It’s a big thing to me, this honoring of their memory. And I wanted to make sure your loved ones who are either healing or grieving have the same benefit my friend did.

Get one of each or two of the same, it doesn’t matter, with checkout code 2for1.  Find them here.