Getting through grief is very different from getting “over” it.
We never get “over” it.
We make our way through it. Painfully, awkwardly, and, it’s important to note, usually alone. Because everyone’s grief is individual.
You’ll need to express it.
You should express it. Cry, scream, give it voice. Sit with it if that helps. Pray. Let it out in whatever manner you need to.
Don’t expect it to disappear.
But in time, it will transition into something less agonizing. Grief will become less painful, but not completely without pain. How long? It’s different for everyone. Do not expect it to be a matter of months. For many it’s more like a matter of years until grief morphs into something less present. Don’t worry that you are betraying your loved one by feeling better. They WANT you feel better. They are ever-present, whether it’s as a loving thought or some sign.
It’s ok to get help.
Some of us need help getting through grief–a safe place to vent those feelings– and that’s perfectly ok. Because sometimes our loved ones want us to release our active grief or “get better” sooner than we are ready.That is not helpful.
Friends can be a godsend. But because they are not grief professionals they sometimes tire of hearing about it. They don’t mean to be unsupportive, but they are often ready for us to “move on” before we are.
Grief support groups can be helpful because you are with others who understand something of what you are going through. Grief therapy is another avenue.
The Guided Journal through Grief is a more private way to process feelings about. our loved ones: what they meant to us and how we feel about them. Each page asks a question or offers a supportive activity to help process grief. Those who use the journal are grateful for it’s support. Here’s what one said recently:
Thumbing through each of the pages and reading thru the journal prompts already has helped lift some of the weight of pain that’s so heavy in my heart.There are pages can really bring you back to the times you spent with your loved one and smile. There are pages that will really get you thinking and realize things you never really thought of before.
And another:
It’s always so hard to find words to help someone through their hurt when they lose a loved one because everyone grieves differently. When I purchased the first one of these for myself when I was struggling with loss of my sweet nephew who was only two I had no idea it would make an impact on each loss I was gonna endure in the future. This gift (I now give others) makes things easy.
Some write in the journal, others draw, paint or even collage, using mementos. At only $15.95 it’s an affordable grief tool and a beautiful, sensitive condolence gift that recipients really appreciate.
Learn more here.
Your posts are so helpful. I’ll keep the journal in mind, as it would be a lovely way to support someone.
Grief is such a complex emotion. So many good suggestions for dealing with it and helping others through it here.
Yes… you’d think it would be intuitive, but it really isn’t.