It’s pretty awful when you find yourself doing the exact thing you don’t like others to do: Judging a situation without all of the information.
It’s such a shock to find that we are, in fact, human, despite our best efforts to rise above, to keep to a spiritual path, to let kindness be our guide.
“Judge-y” is not how we like to think of ourselves.
It’s not how I like to think of myself. But it’s a human reaction. All-too. I mean, I should be “woke,”, right? Shouldn’t I?
Ram Dass acknowledged this feeling when he assured us that we should risk being human. That we should appreciate our human-ness without judgment. Let our story unfold without getting too far ahead of ourselves. “Try being human,” he suggests.
But oh, how hard that can be! So I read and listened to these inspirational words of his today:
“Appreciate your humanity. …I’m Ram Dass and I’ve worked on myself, and I’m supposed to be equanimous, loving, present, clear, compassionate, accepting – often times I get tired, I’m angry, I’m petulant, I’m closed down.
“Now for a long time I’d get into those states and I would feel really embarrassed because that isn’t who Ram Dass is supposed to be. So I would appear like I was warm, charming, equanimous, compassionate and there was deviousness and deception involved.
And then I realized that that is – that’s bad business because that cuts us off from each other. And I had to risk my truth. I had to risk being human with other people. And realize that what we offer each other is our truth. And our truth includes all of our stuff.
And the first thing I had to do was accept my own truth. I had to allow myself to be a human being. And I think I was helped by my disembodied friend, who, when I said to him, ‘Emmanuel what am I doing on earth?’ he said ‘You’re on earth, why don’t you try taking the curriculum? Why don’t you try being human?”
I just love that. Because I’m so guilty of getting “ahead of myself” and not really understanding that I’m still on my path. So yes, being human can be embarrassing. But that’s what we are: human.
We’re right where we are supposed to be.
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Thoughtful, pretty gifts for those who grieve or are fighting a health battle are here.
Adults judging each other seems so commonplace these days. When you take a step back and take an honest look at your own behavior and actions, it’s eye opening.
This is really about not judging ourselves. About knowing we are imperfect and on a path.
Hi, Carol — great post! It’s useful to think of life as a curriculum in being human. Maybe you could do a follow-up post on how to handle it when you’ve caught yourself being judgey, especially if you’ve said the snarky comment out loud (& maybe hurt someone’s feelings). We all do it….
I will! That’s a great idea!
Beautiful message, Carol! I am all too human. How conforting to think I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I’ll start here!
In customer service, I try hard every day to remember that I don’t know what is going on in someone else’s life. I might be speaking to them on the worst day in their life. It was a hard lesson I learned in the aftermath of 9/11.
Yes and there must be a story there…
Oh so needed this right now. Thank you. Yes, we’re all on a path and even though I’ve done a lot of work on myself, I still get upset or angry. All part of the human experience!
Yes, I related when he said, “hey, shouldn’t I be further along than this?” only to discover again that it’s a path and we can move around on it!
I am working hrd at being less “judgey”. What helps me is if I stop and try to look at something from a different perspective. I find it helps. By the time I am done I am not judging. I’m still a work in progress though.
Boy, aren’t we all!
I took a listening class in college to satisfy some communications credits. It was tedious at first, how little listenign we do is staggering. Then, once I did it, really immersed myself in listening before I formulated a response, I grew so much. Love this post!
Yes, listening skills are in short supply today.
Mamma always said “When you’re unhappy, you’re usually unhappy with yourself.’” It took me a while to get that one. Good post
A very wise mamma, indeed!
I was told by someone far smarter than me, that what we dislike the most in our husbands or close relationships is simply what we dislike about ourselves. I have a list of things to work on within myself each day…. it’s easy to be discouraged, but you are right we are human and forgiveness starts with us.
I have heard that, too… I just wish it always held true! LOL I have my own set of issues so different from the ones I hate in my husband. Or at least that’s my story ! time to take another look maybe…..