One of the great blessings of age is that I feel no need to do much explaining myself anymore. Only rarely. Those youthful days of insecurity are in my rearview mirror.
By now, the people who know me “get” me. And if they don’t, well, their problem, not mine. And I don’t make it my problem.
After so many years, they should know my heart (usually open and sometimes, yes, vulnerable).
My intent should be clear by now (almost always pure but once in a while, ruefully not–rarely, though).
I’m open about the things that really bother me (meanness and self-centered actions, usually. I won’t mention politics.)
The big thing about age is that I’ve learned to accept myself. I’m not perfect. I slip. I get frustrated. I can snap back.
Overall, though, I am ok with who I am. Validation from others isn’t necessary. And that seems to be a byproduct of aging.
I’m also ok with having certain expectations of people, common courtesies and consideration chief among them.
One other interesting thing about aging is that I don’t feel like I have to give everyone a seat in my circle. Treat me and my heart with respect? Your cushiony seat awaits. Treat me like I don’t matter? All seats are taken.
I’ve seem similar and even more dramatic evolutions in some of my nearest and dearest. One, especially, has always wanted everyone to “like” them. They’ve accepted some really bad behavior in the past. But no more. They now love themselves and along with that goes a bigger need: to be treated with kindness and courtesy.
Isn’t it great consolation to know that, while our bones may be creakier and more brittle, our hair more grey and our bodies less flexible, our hearts and minds can reap the benefits of aging?
Notice anything different about yourself, as you get older? I’d love you to share in the Comments.
I definitely don’t have time for people who are aggravating. But, I’m looking forward to opening up my circle a bit now that I can and when we all can.
Love the “seat taken” analogy for people who treat you nice and those who don’t. I’m getting better at not getting fooled the second (and alas, sometimes third time) when its already clear at the beginning who they are.
Yes, it’s something I see , too, increasing clarity.
Less and less with each year.
I love that about age.
I no longer care what people think about me – the way I look and dress, what I say. And I consider myself of an age where I can say what I want. Nothing mean or derogatory, but my ideas or feelings even if they clash with others.
Exactly. We can be ourselves and that is liberating.
Agree, one of the great things about getting older is that you no longer have to go out of your way to live up to social expectations. And you discover that most people don’t care anyway … as long as you’re not hurting or insulting anyone. So now we always drive ourselves (b/c we hate to carpool), we are always the first to leave a party, and these days we’re the ones who are be super careful about Covid. And people still love us anyway.
I was raised by a mother who constantly encouraged kindness and consideration. Her words, “What will others think?” wasn’t so much about seeing herself through other’s eyes, as it was making sure she was never seen as someone who was mean or hurtful in any way. I loved her philosophy. I loved her. Some day, I will be like her! Some day.
You ARE like her. I would put money on it.
I’m still a work in progress when it comes to being comfortable with how others see and treat me.
I think it’s something ew all have to work on every so often!