After a big heartbreak it’s hard to imagine that the world didn’t actually end. How could it be, we wonder, that the world’s still there? That the sun rises? It’s almost shocking.
I can think of several times in my life when I thought I wouldn’t survive what happened. And yet, each day the sun still rose, people went about their business and yes, the world was still there.
We are but a drop in a huge ocean of souls and bad stuff is bound to happen. If this pandemic taught me one thing, it’s that resilience is one of the most important things we can have. The ability to bounce back after tragedy and heartbreak is the only way we can continue to have any kind of life at all. Consider some of the most inspirational people you know–and I do not mean celebrities. I mean real folks who have inspired you. They’re resilient.
Then consider those whose circumstances have brought them down. Maybe even nearly destroyed them. Could resilience be the missing trait?
Moving forward and living a full live isn’t to say that we shouldn’t grieve whatever we’ve lost. Or whomever. Grieving is absolutely necessary. NOT grieving would be a problem, because the only way to get past that pain is to walk through it. It’s a must.
And this is not to say that the walk is quick or easy. It’s neither. For some that journey is longer and more arduous than for others. Which is okay. Because it takes as long as it takes. No judgment.
I’ll say it again. NO JUDGMENT. No one “should be over it by now.”
In the end, though, to enjoy the life that remains to us we must find ways to bounce back. Not all the way back, but back enough to be able to laugh and play once again.
We are meant to make the most of this wild and precious life, as poet Mary Oliver termed it. We will never forget, but the ability to learn something and eventually go on is essential to life.
I’d love your thoughts.
And if you are grieving a loss, or know someone who is, I hope you’l consider our gentle and supportive grief tools. They make wonderful gifts.