I’ve been unpacking some pretty heavy-duty life matters as part of a big writing project.
As I do, I realize how amazing it is that I’m still standing — and functional. I won’t say “normal” –what IS normal, anyway?
Some people come into life with the gift of resilience and I am one of those. Along with that resilience, though, came the need to compartmentalize some feelings. To be able to shelve them and not feel them. I know: functional, but not so healthy, right? Well, yeah. But I wouldn’t have survived, otherwise.
When MC Hammer appeared in my first regression, singing “U Can’t Touch This” I understood the message immediately.
“Look in my eyes, man
You can’t touch this.”
Sometimes, there is no safe place. We can run from unpleasant feelings to keep them from touching us, but even if we do, we can’t escape them. They’ll always find us, eventually. I should know: I’ve done my best to avoid them.
Truth is, those hard emotions DID impact the rest of my life. And still do.
My need to numb myself to some emotions means I developed some… “quirks?” (sounds better than deficiencies) when it comes to feelings. I can be quite self-protective even now, although less than when I as younger.
I won’t lie–sometimes that DOES serve me. Sometimes, though? It doesn’t serve me.at all.
Still, I’m aware of it as something to work on. I’m willing to be more vulnerable,although that hasn’t always worked out ideally. But it wasn’t fatal, so that’s something, right?
I’m not sure there’s a way to be both resilient and unguarded. Oh, I’m sure psychologists would say there is, but maybe not for me.
Just thinking. (As usual.)
I offer hypnotherapy and regression that can often provide a different view on life events. If you want to discuss whether it might benefit you, get in touch.
Maybe not unguarded … but I believe in order to be resilient, we must be in tune with ourselves, our thoughts, and our reactions. Consciously awareness and resilience go hand in hand.💕. And I definitely like quirks better!!!
That’s a beautiful way to look at healthy resilience. My piece in progress is more about compartmentalization and survival, but your point is such a good one it bears more thought as it relates to what I’m writing. And is in line with something someone in class commented to me about mysense of self so young. Thanks for this today!
I’ve heard the saying that our greatest work will be within the walls of our own home.
But sometimes, I think it is actually within the walls of our own hearts! From hot mess to smoother sailing and back again.
But as you say, in dealing with it, we progress!
I absolutely agree, Diane. So much!
Deep down, I think we all want to believe the bad stuff won’t get to us and the process of continuing to prevent it from doing so goes on…
I sure do relate to this, Kathy.
I’d love to find that wonderful balance between feeling all the feels, but not letting the really bad stuff get under my skin too much. Still working on it.
I think it’s a lifelong job. Which can make things not so smooth all the time.