My sins are still unforgiven. That’s right. Ask two –ok, maybe three- people I’ve known a lifetime and they’ll tell you.
Well, maybe they won’t admit it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. I am unforgiven for deeds against them, real or imagined.
I’ve gotten used to it. Really, i have. I don’t often feel like I want to convince them otherwise. But sometimes I want to send them this image by Kai Skye* because this is as true as anything I’ve ever read.
The other day someone in my circle died without warning. Just left. This happens and when it does, it’s so much better to leave nothing unsaid or undone.
I have, in fact, wronged people in my life. Haven’t you? And I have tried my best to ask forgiveness and to make amends. Because being clean with people, being current, is how I want to live.
Not everyone is that way.
I get it though, and I can’t hold it against them. I read something the other day: “I can’t blame you for not loving me how I deserved. You’re still at war with your own skin.”
Everyone deserves forgiveness and once forgiveness is granted, love can easily follow and usually does. Because, as a sage once said, “Once you’ve said everything else, the only thing left to say is “I love you.”
But none of this is possible when an individual is still at war with their own skin.
Oh yes, they will deny it. They are often the ones who say they have grown and evolved without the need for therapy or any help. If you count the issues in their lives, though, and assess their severity, the implausibility of that having happened is evident.
I am thinking about the person who died last month and pretty sure she died whole and complete, with only love and nothing to forgive. Then I look at the couple of people I love who will not forgive me and know that once they cross to the other side, all will be clear. I don’t even think that will be too late, either. It’s all just part of the plan.
Ain’t gonna kid you: it’s not hard but it is frustrating to love someone who resents you for wrongs real or imagined. When they can not see what appears so clear to you.
And when you know that this life really IS about love, all about love and relationships, as a dear friend who died a few months ago said in what were some of his final words before crossing over, it is particularly frustrating.
I always want to DO something.
But there really is nothing for me to do. And everything for them to do.
Oh, well. Sigh.
Life can seem so difficult, but it really isn’t. It’s easy. It’s all about love. Better to get that sooner rather than later. But we only get it when we get it.
If you’d like to make amends with someone, I’ll add a little LOVE charm free to one of our Hearts & Flowers candles and send to a person of your choice with a short message on a gift tag. Or I can send the tag and you can fill it out. The window for ordering these lovely candles closes on January 25. Use checkout code ship21 for free shipping and message me if you want the free love charm. Find them all here.
Oh and you can find that gorgeous post image at my favorite shop, FlyingEdna.com, where Kai Skye and Fia Skye make stuff I can’t live without. Kai used to be known as Brian Andreas, the Storypeople artist, but now find him at his new home, FyingEdna.com
Love is manifested in so many ways. It may not be perfect. We may not be perfect, but we do the best we can.
Most of us do the best we are equipped to do.
Death and dying sure put things in perspective. Nothing is too important that love can’t conquer.
There’s some truth there, my friend.
Love is all there is. And I love the Flying Edna piece that I got for my husband’s Christmas present. He loved it too.
Which one did you buy?
I wish my mom were still alive. I would have sent this to her.
Don’t you worry…she sees it with you. She does.
Love and relationships. Perhaps the worst thing about this illness is all those who have passed away in the past year without the chance to have a loved one nearby saying “I love you” for fear of contagion. This illness points out to us how precious relationships are.
Ihope it is a comfort to know that no one dies alone. Their loved ones on the other side are with them every step of the way. Every step.
I loved this, Carol! Love. It truly is the answer!
A few years ago, I decided that the last thing everyone would hear from me is that I loved them. Now, when family and friends leave the house or when I’m dismissing my class, the last thing they hear from me is, “I love you all! Have a great day!”
You know, I did the same thing after my mom got sick 21 years ago. That’s my policy, as well.