I love thinking of my friends as beautiful flowers in the garden of friendships. Not long ago I wrote about the need to weed the friendship garden and today I’m talking about the need to cultivate friendships.
What? you might ask. Shouldn’t friendships just be automatic?
Fact is, they aren’t. In this busy world of ours there’s a lot of competition for our attention and sometimes, the people we care about fall to the bottom of the list. We think they’ll always be there, that they know we love them and we take them for granted.
Not so fast.
Like flowers need rain and sunshine, a friendship takes time and attention. There’s nothing better than making someone feel cared about. Nothing. And it doesn’t take that much effort, either.
Some ideas on how to cultivate friendships:
1. Prioritize. Make sure your closest friends are high on your priority list, not just for emails or texts but for real, live phone calls and get-togethers. If you care for them, show it!
2. Reciprocate. If someone close to you has invited you out, make sure you invite THEM out, too, whether you able to accept their invitation or not. If they’ve lent a hand with a task or chore, make sure you do something for them. Friendship isn’t tit-for-tat but it IS necessary to keep it in balance. If one person is constantly doing for the other, there’s no equilibrium. Resentments can build–it’s only human nature. Keep friendships in balance.
3. Ambush. In a good way. Sometimes it’s nice to call unexpectedly and ask if they want to have a coffee or drink. Or share a salad. Send a card. Give a little gift. Surprise them!
4. Don’t wait. I’ve been guilty of “meaning to get around to it” thinking. But life is short. All we have is now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. We are ALL busy. EVERYONE has competing activities. But if you care for someone, they should matter as much, if not more. Cultivate friendships NOW.
Could today be the day you reach out to someone you care about but haven’t seen in a while?
If it is, why not get them a pretty friendship candle?
Or choose any candle we offer and add the sweet “You’re My Person” tag to it for only $5. Just choose any candle and then add “My Person tag” when you order.
I fully believe this to be true, however struggle with what to do with the friends that don;t behave in kind.
I’ve weeded friends on Facebook but not so much in real life. But sometimes you have to do it.
Yes, sometimes you must weed.
Love this analogy. You’ve got to take care of your friendships just like a garden. Weed when necessary and feed as needed.
I love this, I have never thought of my friends as flowers in a garden that needs cultivating before, I will from now on. Great analogy.
Thanks! I think we forget, sometimes, that friends need cultivation!