There are times when I am confused by things that happen in life. Puzzled. As if I am from some alien planet. Such was the case the other day, when I told a group of friends I was having a hysterectomy. One of them immediately responded “Have they told you what to expect post-surgery?”
“Yes,” I replied. “My doctor said I’d be down about six weeks, no driving for 10 days and I need to be three weeks post-op to comfortably do a cool weekend I have planned.”
“Well,” she responded, “don’t expect a quick recovery. That surgery is really rough on your body and it is going to be a lot harder than they made it seem.”
I was completely taken aback, because that’s not how I roll.
The way I roll is to believe that surgery will go easily and without anxiety on my part. That I will have a rapid, pain-free recovery. That nothing significant will be found. I not only believe this but affirm it daily and do my own self-hypnosis to that end.
THAT is how I roll.
It is the way I have always rolled, even when faced with three surgeries in three years (back in the 90s). I might not have been a hypnotherapist back then but I knew to focus on the positive. And I had quick recoveries from them all. Yes, that could be me, strolling through fields of lavender during my recovery. At least in my mind.
Why would I want to plant negative thoughts in advance of my procedure?
My friend meant well. She just wasn’t thinking about the impact of her words.
So a piece of advice: When someone tells you they’re having surgery, wish them an easy time and a quick recovery. There’s no need to share any negative experiences, any scare stories.
Just give them the gift of your best wishes and positive vibe.
You will be amazing, not to worry. I had a complete hysterectomy and while it took me a bit longer to stand up straight, I was walking (slowly) my dog by the end of the week. Yes, it was tough the first 4 days. I was inevitably grateful that I succumbed to the 4 day hospital stay. Nothing you can’t handle with ease and grace. Pain is a part of recovery … of any kind. You know that all too well. It’s about the end game. You will feel and cope so much better in the years to come. This I know, because this I’ve lived. Healing thoughts and much love your way, my friend. Embrace the fear, just don’t ever let it overwhelm you. Fear is part of all of us. The sooner we make friends with it, the sooner we can keep it in check. Love!
I’ll have to listen to myself the next time I or anyone I know is going through something major. I always figure I’m going to be ok, that the time it takes me to recover will be less than what it should be. But I’m also conscious of when my body is telling me I’m pushing it before it’s ready and I back off.
So agree. My sister had a hysterectomy a few years ago and had a relatively speedy, easy recovery. I’m sure you’ll do the same.
Amen! It is the horror stories well meaning people love to tell. Announce your pregnant and someone tells you their or sister’s or co-workers worst scenario. Disclose you have cancer and some are planning your funeral! Yes we can’t go through life with denials and no one wants to come out of something saying why didn’t anyone tell me, but in this age you can google everything!
ha, how true that is!
I’m with you on this Carol. People may not really think about their words, but they can – and do – plant a negative seed.
I know–I just can’t understand that.