My social media feed is filled with intolerance. People who can’t forgive. People who speak the language of forgiveness and love and then, somehow, lose their way in its practice.
Hey, I get it. Forgiveness is HARD. When we think we’ve been done wrong our first response is to strike back.And if we’ve been done wrong many times we strike back even harder.
“It’s too late for forgiveness,” I read someone post recently.
Well, no. It’s NEVER too late for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not something we do for someone else. We do it for OURSELVES.
Why would we drink the toxic brew of resentment and hatred, of revenge and striking back? Why would we let that sludge course through our vein?
Hey, look. I’ve had my own challenges with forgiveness. The churning upset. Feeling that I’d been done wrong.
Because I knew I didn’t want to hold on to grudges, I worked away at forgiveness for years. YEARS.
No joke. I wasn’t sure that I even understand what it meant to actually forgive.
And then one day, I got there. One day the grudge had no power over me. Those who hurt me lost their power to wound.
All I had left? Compassion and love.
Yes, I know: sometimes that isn’t as ego-satisfying as revenge. But it’s soul-satisfying. Have no doubt.
The soul benefit of being able to forgive was confirmed recently in a session with an excellent medium. During the session my mother on the other side brought up perhaps the thorniest issue in my life and then told me this:
“The personal work you have done on forgiveness is paying off, Carol. There is healing going on both here and on the earthly plane as a result of it. Just because you haven’t seen evidence of it yet, don’t think it isn’t happening and it’s a direct result of the work you are doing on yourself.”
I was stunned: the medium knew nothing of this situation so it had to be that my mother was watching and so were my other spirit guides. And while I didn’t need there to be change here for me to feel good about the work I’ve done on forgiveness, it felt great to know that positive effects were being seen here. Even if I can’t see them. Yet.
So when you feel the urge to strike back, it’s your ego speaking. Your soul wants you to take a bigger view. To forgive and send love to those who hurt you.
Because it’s clear to me now that forgiveness pays off. Even here.
Forgiveness is definitely something that I struggle with! I am working on it, though, but I am not in a place where I am able to forgive at this time.
Everywhere you look on the tv or social media there is intolerance and hate. What ever happened to being able to have a difference of opinion and still get along. Much need topic to be written about.
If people only understood that holding on to bitterness and not forgiving only hurts themselves. It’s so much better to let it go. My mantra is to be kind to all. If someone is unkind to me,, I just take a deep breath and move on.
Forgiving someone is the hardest thing to do ever as I had to learn when my daughter was killed and I new to heal and move on I would nee to forgive the man who killed her.
That is the toughest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I learned that forgiveness is essential for moving on. Telling the person you are forgiving is not. Sometimes, it’s a daily act.
Love this, Carol. And couldn’t agree more! Carrying a grudge is like taking a heavy backpack filled with rocks everywhere you go. Heavy. Hard. And totally unproductive. I prefer the freedom of forgiveness.
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Forgiveness certainly is very hard, especially for me. But it is something I have learned is necessary for me to move on.
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Forgiveness always plays off. I have found that wishing the best for those who hurt me is a great way to forgive.
I am probably too forgiving if there is such a thing, I agree that it is not healthy to hold on to anger.
Forgiveness can be a really fickle thing sometimes. It is easy, but at the same time it can be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is always worth it though.
I love this post. Only the strongest people can forgive those who have hurt us the most.
This article sure makes me think. It’s good to forgive, but there’s a few things I’ll never forget.
It seems that I forgive the wrong people. The ones I forgive don’t mean it, and end up hurting again. I think it might be time to cut all ties and go!
Forgiveness is HARD but I think in the long run it needs to happen. Not only will you feel better but you will feel freer too!
I agree that forgiveness is worthwhile and pays off in the end. It can of course be difficult to forgive those that have hurt us, but it’s worthwhile goal!
I’ve always been taught that forgiveness isn’t for the other person… it’s for you to let go of what is on your mind.
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Hum. I have read many similar articles and I always struggle with understanding why forgiveness is so important. I have a few people in my life that I have no intention of forgiving, and I can’t see how that negatively impacts my happiness. I think I would feel worse if I did forgive them! But I know most people agree with you – holding that grudge eats them up inside.