Oh, that elusive calm center! Sometimes, hard to find.
Suffering is one of the hardest things in the world –no matter what the source.
Many people I know are trying to heal from formidable diseases and sometimes the treatment seems worse than the disease.
I work with clients deep in grief whose suffering is palpable. I can feel it in every word they say, how they say it, how they carry themselves.
And I know this, myself:
Not a day has passed without tears since my soulmate dog, Riley, died in late November. And I mean bushels of tears, set off by anything, including just driving down my street, where we used to walk. I’m writing this at the one month mark and it’s still happening. And it will for a long time. Because grief only exists where love once lived. And still lives, by the way.
Railing against fate
Maintaining a calm center in the face of illness or grief is a big challenge. We rail against the way things are, against what happened. We want our lives back, we want our loved one back–we want things to be the way they were.
But, of course, that’s not possible.
Whether it’s grief or disease, the issue is the same: maintaining a calm center and not letting emotions spiral out of control. Which means directing our emotions and our thoughts in helpful ways.
I don’t mean block the feelings. By all means, get it out. Cry, rail against the fates and do what you must to express how you feel. That’s important. There’s something to be said for that flood of tears, that crying out against reality. It needs an outlet.
And when you’re ready, begin to refocus those emotions. It might not be right away. Just when you’re ready.
Focus is healing. Feeling is healing.
Affirmations are an effective way to acknowledge and direct emotions in helpful ways. To accept them as normal. That’s why affirmations an important part of our healing toolkit and our products to help transform grief. As a daily mantra, a daily thought, a daily focus, they provide 50 days of applied meditation–applied to your own grief or healing.
Guided journals are the other key component in our toolkits. Each page has a prompt or an activity meant to allow you to not only feel the emotion but express is on paper by writing, drawing or even making a mini collage. The act of getting the feelings out–whether it’s about our loved one or about our illness– is so important to healing!
In fact, studies have shown that the act of writing about our emotions about our disease can reduce symptoms by more than 1/3.
That’s significant. And makes it worth a try as a way of regaining–and maintaining–a calm center.
I should also mention that hypnotherapy can be a big help for anxiety and panic.