I read this the other day:
Don’t kill them with kindness.
Kill them with silence.
Not everyone deserves your attention.
Forget for a moment the concept of “killing” someone with anything, and let’s focus on “not everyone deserves your attention.”
When I was younger and people misunderstood me or held some sort of grudge against me I felt like I needed to explain myself. Vested in people “understanding” me and my intentions or thoughts, I would try really hard to “make” them see my point of view. Or I’d be nicer and nicer to them in the hope they’d see me in a different way.
But sometimes, there was no way for them to get there. My words were wasted and so were my thoughts. Nothing I said or did was going to make a difference. No matter how hard I tried, how many kind things I did, how hard I danced—they weren’t going to see me. Their own position was deeply entrenched.
When I was younger, I was loathe to give up my efforts. “If only I…” And I’d think of yet another analogy to make my point. I’d keep dancing as fast as I could.
These days, I don’t waste my time on futile activities. It’s easier to let go of the need to for people who aren’t going to get me to get me. I understand that not everyone deserves my attention. That I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.
Today, I can more easily (but not always immediately) move on to people and things that merit my attention. Life is short. Other things deserve my time and attention. Happier things. Laughter-inducing things. More centered people. And I’m glad that I can more easily release things that aren’t working, rather than spin my wheels.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, either.
Remember, there are times when silence is the best response. And the only one.