How much of our behavior is about what others think of us–as opposed to what we think of ourselves?
When I was younger there were times I was self-conscious–concerned about how I was received. Insecurity is a phase most youth go through, but sometimes even in adulthood we consider what others think of us more than we’re aware of of.
Did you hear any of these messages when you were young?
“Don’t bring shame on the family!”
“What will people/the neighbors think?”
Scrolling my social media feed I have noticed that some people attacked by trolls are super-defensive. I must admit that when I’m attacked online (it happens) I also feel defensive. It’s normal. Even though as I grew up I learned to be secure in the person I was. To understand that what I thought of myself and my own behavior was far more important than what others thought.
Maybe it took me longer than others, but I did finally get there, only to find that social media make us vulnerable in different ways.
I’m still pretty much ok with the person I am. I still pretty much think, “well, if you don’t get me, that’s ok, because I get me.”
Pretty much. Like anyone else, that confidence can be shaken. Not often, but it happens.
And when it does, I remind myself of just who I am and that I am always that person.
No matter what others think.
Agree that age enables me to care less about what others think.
What i love about aging!
Hi Carol – this is a big one for me – I’m not trying to impress others and SM isn’t a big deal to me, but I have this inbuilt desire to try to keep everyone happy and to be “liked”. I’ve actually just been writing a post about this subject that I’ll put up in the next few weeks. It’s been an ongoing WOP in my life. And BTW I loved the header quote!
I think this is something women deal with more than men.
I think I used to be more concerned about what others thought of me when I was younger. Now that I’m over 60, it doesn’t bother me. I’m happy with myself and believe I am a good and giving person.
Age really is the great equalizer. I think we grown in confidence. And we know ourselves so much better!
Fear of what other’s think is a huge stumbling block for many people. I know so many who want to do something creative but can’t get over the ‘what will other’s think’ hurdle. No matter what you say, they can’t do it. Could be conditioning.
As I mentioned on Judy’s comment, as we age we get far more confident and that is such a blessing. Yes, conditioning.