“You’re going to look back on this time as a line of demarcation,” I said to my nephew the other day, “as the time when life changed forever. You’ll remember the years before with nostalgia for how it used to be.”
The long-term effects of this pandemic will be huge all the way across the globe. But on the micro level, the level of our own individual lives, we are walking into the unknown. Into a life that will never be as, well, maybe “carefree” isn’t the word. But close enough.
Our concerns going forward will be quite different than BC and for many, survival-oriented. It’s an adventure of sorts, although one that we didn’t choose. And each of us is going to have different and very personal experiences–and worries.
The ground beneath us is shifting and it’s hard to find our balance. The road ahead is unknown. All the things we thought would be true of our lives in the future are up for grabs.
So how do we handle it? When we don’t know what’s coming, the only way to deal with it is one day at a time. One thing at a time. One worry at a time.
Sounds simple, right? It isn’t, because when we consider our futures it can be overwhelming. It can hit us all at once.
Don’t look too far ahead.
There’s no point, really, because we can’t see the way. Instead, maybe these simple steps will help you as they have helped me.
Concern yourself with the day ahead.
What do I need to do today? Is there a small chore? Something diverting like cooking or watching a movie?
Connect with loved ones.
Regular, scheduled calls with our family and good friends each week ground us. We get to air our worries in a safe place. We support one another. It’s crucial to get support (and give it) in these unknown times.
Get help.
Connect with groups or people that can help you locate financial, emotional or other necessary resources. The experiences friends report on social media can be a start, if government or other resources are overwhelmed, but don’t rely on them for accuracy. Look around at government websites, etc.
Do something nice for yourself at least once day.
Take a nap. (I’ve never been a napper, but once I put an eye mask on and relax, I can be out for an hour or even two!). Read something inspirational. Dance around your house. Give yourself a facial or manicure. Get out in nature. Do yoga. Eat something yummy.
Get some regular exercise.
We start and end each day with a brisk walk in our neighborhood, even if it’s only half hour each. I can’t tell how you much of a difference it makes. I’m addicted to it.
Take all necessary precautions…
…for your age group, vulnerability and just in general. We expect to sanitize everything that comes into the house for a long while and to mask up in public.
Limit time spent on news.
I get a daily news summary and that’s all I need, except for our California Governor’s updates, which are helpful, reassuring and informational. I don’t watch TV news and I don’t obsess over news stories online. It’s not helpful.
Our governor has begun to preview what the new normal might look like and I appreciate that. I’m sure it’s to help us feel that we aren’t walking into a dark room. There’s nothing set in stone, but he’s made it clear it won’t be like turning on a lightbulb but instead, using a dimmer switch.
Because we have a guy in charge who wants us to feel empowered with helpful info, I don’t feel like I’ll be walking into a complete unknown, but for sure life will be different. These are some of the things I’m doing to feel calmer and in more control. I hope they help you.
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I love your advice, Carol. It’s all so spot on. We live in challenging times for sure and the road ahead is paved with unknowns. All we can do is forge ahead and do our best.
Yes. A day at a time. Breathing.
I haven’t left the house in 2 weeks and then only for short bouts. When it gets too much we go for drives but don’t leave the car. Our state is open now but I’m sticking at home for a while. We’re going to see what happens at the end of the month but we’re taking precautions such as paying for campsites in advance so we don’t have to go around anyone, wearing our masks everywhere, practicing extreme hygiene. I actually think we’ll be safer because two people in a car vs hubby still mandated to go to work around 2,000 employees. The whole point of our trip was to get lost and avoid as many people as possible. We’ll see.
I think you’ll find that opening are spotty and some things you wanted to do will not be possible. It will be a completely different experience. We are not going anywhere until there’s a real treatment and a vaccine. We do not want to visit public restrooms, restaurants or any place where others who are not taking care have been or might be. We have cancelled 5 trips, and the August trip is likely to go, too, unless we charter a plane. No joke, we are going nowhere. We expect to be down the rest of the year. I take it a day at a time and it’s ok that way.
The Covid 19 Stay at Home order in Pennsylvania has coincided with my recuperation period from 4 (at least) vertebral compression fractures. My husband is working from home because he can work remotely, and be my home health aide. The most heartbreaking thing is not being able to visit my 95 year old mother who lives in a nursing home. At this point in my life, at age 66, I’ve experienced 3 events that have been inflection points: the assassination of JFK; 9/11, and the Covid 19 pandemic. The first 2 already have a before and after. We’re still in the acute phase of Covid 19. Stay tuned and buckle up.
I’ve been following your recuperation and can appreciate how difficult it is to go through this as your recover. And not to be able to see your mom? I know about those inflection points, too. I fear this one’s ramifications will last years if not our entire lives.
The first month was hard. Now I’m into it. I have found a love of sanitizing–it’s very zen. And put myself on a schedule. The first schedule was “sleep until noon,” “watch TV” “read” Little by little it became more productive with reading for pleasure being an important part as I wasn’t doing that and forgot how I could stay up all night….
Yes, a schedule is a very good idea. I am starting to be a bit more productive, too.
That is very sound advice – and I have been practicing most of it.
In Switzerland things are slowly getting back to somewhat normal. I’m not sure if we’re ready for it though.
My son is looking forward to finally seeing his friends at school this coming Monday, and I’m over here thinking. really? Just like that you’re summoning them back?
Stay healthy and safe!
I pray it is the right decision and you remain healthy and safe, Tamara. Sending love.
We have to watch the nightly news because, unfortunately, we don’t have a leader for a governor. My county, on the other hand, has been handling this with science and thoughtfulness from day one. But now the governor is asserting his control over how the counties respond. So I just stay home and keep my head down, my nose and mouth covered, and hands washed as I prepare for my nap!
Here’s what I do. I scan the online news and news links people are posting on Fb. I just can’t watch the performance that is what TV news has become.
I love our governor. So glad he’s in charge right now. I’m still obsessed with the news but trying to watch other things instead.
It means everything to have a good leader.
This is a difficult time for me and my husband, because we have to move. But maybe it will work out, maybe things will be okay as we go through this. My true concern is for our youngest child, our son who had to postpone his wedding. I love him so much and I wonder how his life will be going forward. And I have those thoughts for my grandchildren too. For me, I’ll be okay. For them, how will it be?
Life is so full of disappointments, and so many people are feeling them so young. I am sure he will be strong but looking ahead, I think you raise a good question about what life will be like for your grandkids.
Oh, yes, Carol! Excellent advice. Taking one day at a time is a huge start!
It is theonly way I can get through it.