Some people exercise, eat nutritious food, get enough rest, take vitamins and have a healthy lifestyle. Maybe they even meditate and do affirmations. And then, they get a hard diagnosis.
So when they ask “why is this happening to me?” it seems like a logical question. Because they are doing everything right.
Why me?
There really is only one way to respond to ourselves, if we’re the ones asking: (I don’t recommend you say this to anyone, though)
Why NOT me?
It’s not like there’s a cause-effect all the time. Sometimes, events are random. There are factors beyond our control. Environmental, for example. Genetics.
We are not being targeted–we may be doing the very best we can, but we simply do not control every variable.
It’s not like some great hand in the sky had it out for us. We’re not being singled out. It’s just luck of the draw.
I know. No consolation, right?
No. None at all.
It is, however, a chance to rise to the occasion. Oh, I know. If you’d wanted a grand adventure you’d have gone on safari. (I said that once to a therapist who tried to get me to view the breakup of my marriage as an adventure. Right. Not.)
But the truth is that everything that happens to us IS an opportunity to lift ourselves up and lift others up as well.
That can be hard to see. But it doesn’t make it any less true.
Do you know people who say that their condition, their disease is a gift? I do. That’s something I’m not sure I’d say. Nonetheless, their saying it, believing it, allows them to lift themselves out of a possible morass of depression, where many others wallow–and in the process, they are raising the bar for the rest of us. Inspiring us.
I know they inspire me.
I would love your thoughts on this.
Do you know about my retreat “Discover Your Passion & Purpose: knock down barriers, uncover your hidden dreams & design the next stage of your life?”
Reminds me of what tennis great Arthur Ashe said after being diagnosed with HIV: “If I were to say ‘God, why me?’ about the bad things, then I should have said, ‘God why me?’ about the good things that have happened in my life.”
He was very wise. It works both ways, he was right.
Being positive isn’t easy when illness hits, but a positive attitude sure can help get us through tough times with as much joy as possible.
I believe every challenge thrown our way is exactly that. A challenge…to overcome. They are never easy. Somes are heartbreakingly difficult. But you are so right. They give us an opportunity to lift ourselves and lift others around us! And to grow by so doing!
Diane recently posted…House H(a)unting
I have always said that about my illness, but some days are hell. If I hadn’t have gotten sick I would have been unable to take care of mom full time, I wouldn’t moved here, I would have never found out just how deep my husband’s love for me goes.
Rena McDaniel recently posted…A Story As Old As Time – Use Your Words
there is always a bright side!
I need to read this today. I have had some health issues that have brought me to the brink but I would; not be who I am today without having been through all of this. I have asked myself :”why me?” but then I remember it could be much worse and there is something to learn from all of this.
I am sorry to hear that. I get that it is so hard to do this–much easier to have it as a general philosophy if you are not going through it. I wish you the best and hope you can see that your journey will help someone else. It will.
I’ve seen people rise to the occasion in circumstances I would’ve found impossible…but that is always a lesson for ME…
I do think there’s learning and growth that can happen from some of the hard things that happen in life. I always credit my divorce 22 years ago for making a different person in a positive way: stronger, more self-confident and more aware. But, you gotta get thru it to see the positives, and that’s the hard part!
Your line “everything that happens to us IS an opportunity to lift ourselves up and lift others up as well” is a very good reminder. Thank you.