Grief at the holidays can be a killer.
I should know: Four of my loved ones made their transition during this holiday period. In fact, we buried my mother on a Christmas Eve. BFF died a few days after Christmas.My grandfather died during the Thanksgiving holiday. So did Riley.
Yeah.
So here are a few ways to manage grief at the holidays:
There’s no avoiding it
The big thing is that you simply can’t avoid the grief. So don’t even try.
Your loved one was a valued part of your life then and still is. So: invite them to the holiday table. Raise a glass to them. Be grateful for the love you shared. What a blessing!
And especially be grateful that they are still ever-present in your life. They’re not gone at all. They’re just around the corner. The next plane. Right here, even though we can’t see them. We carry them with us all the time and that IS a blessing.
I’m thinking of a mother I know whose baby passed in the first few months. Her daughter is part of her life in a significant way and is now also part of the lives of her two other children. They recognize grief is part of life and mark each anniversary together as a family. It’s loving and it’s healthy for all.
It can be painful.
But, you say: “The grief.”
Grief is just love that thinks it has no place to go. But since our loved ones are really not dead to us–they live in our hearts–it DOES have a place to go. Your heart.
Grief is a reminder of the love we shared and still share, because love never dies.
As for the tears? Oh, I have them, too. Let them flow and wash away sadness as you celebrate the beautiful spirit that is still in your life and the joy that you loved one another.
Since they aren’t really gone…
Invite them to your happy holiday. And bask in that ongoing love you share.
If you’d like additional support, please check out our grief products here on this page.
I’ve lost a father and a brother in December and now Mom is in hospice care. We talk about the life she’s lived and there is some comfort for both of us in knowing that she’s lived a full life with lots of love and laughter.
This life is all we know and we hang on to it as if there is no going on. That always strikes me as at odds with faith. Sounds like you are all talking together and putting your own perspective on it. Much love to you.
Both of my parents died within 2 weeks of each other in November and December. That was 5 years ago but it’s something you always think about.
Yes, it’s hard to avoid. Sending you love, my friend.
You words are so meaningful and shed light on a situation in a new way. Thanks.
Thank you, Beth.
A very fitting and helpful post for our family at this time of the year, as we prepare to come together. Having lost both my father and father in law this year will make this first Christmas without them very sad. But we had the birth of a granddaughter as well so she is helping to bring joy back into our lives. It’s a bittersweet feeling. Thanks for your words and understanding Carol.
This is very tough ….the birth of a grandchild is such a blessing and does remind us of the circle of life. Love to you all.
Thank you so much for this today! My husband and I have lost several friends and family members the past few months, and now we learn that our Daisy is sick and we must say Good-bye to her in the next day or two. Reading about your loss of Riley really touched me. I really love the quote today – Grief is the price… Beautiful <3
As much as I would like to not feel, I know I have to. Sending you much love at this time especially.