Here’s one thing we all have in common: lost love. Whether it’s a spouse, partner, family member, best friend–and whether we lose them through death or just lose their love–it’s all lost love.
Losing love–in any form–is one of the most painful experiences we go through in life.
As a younger woman going through the pain of lost love I thought it might be easier to have lost him through death than through divorce. That’s because I still hadn’t lost anyone I loved to death. Once I had, my view of lost love changed.
But no matter how we lose a loved one, we’re going to need to heal. And like any grief, it takes as long as it takes. But here are some tried and tested ways to cope:
Let yourself feel the pain.
Don’t numb it with substances, including food. Don’t try to avoid it. The only way to manage pain is to walk through it bravely.
Look toward the future
Oh, you won’t feel like it. It’s easy to get mired in the present pain of grief and feel as if your life is over. But it isn’t…the future is where your life is headed, and you can go there the easy way OR you can do it the hard way: by resisting. Oh, you might not feel like dating, if it’s a romantic love lost. Not right away. But if you enjoyed the pleasures of partnership, down the road you might reconsider.
We often think we have our life planned out and when something changes that, it’s easy to shut down. But be open to the wondrous things that could happen.
You won’t see those wondrous things if you aren’t paying attention. Be attuned to your present and the magic that might pop up.
Loss almost always asks us to forgive someone. I won’t say more. I have had to forgive family, mates and friends, all. It’s the most important thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Don’t be afraid to give love again. And receive it.
It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
This little volume helped me a lot decades ago and it still is chock-full of wisdom: How to Survive the Loss of a Love. See affiliate link below.
If you’ve got tips for surviving any kind of lost love, I’d like to hear them.