At Meow Wolf in Santa Fe, NM
If you turn off the lights in this room all you’ll see is darkness. Which is to say you’ll see nothing. But illuminate the scene and its strange beauty is obvious.
It’s not what you’d consider “beautiful” in the traditional sense. It’s a little odd, a little off and a little unexpected.
That’s the way gifts are when they come from the tough parts of life. The tough side of town, so to speak.
Here at A Healing Spirit we talk about the hard things: death, sickness, pain, anxiety. It’s a no-holds-barred place where some concepts might be hard to swallow.
Like the idea that there are gifts in the death of a loved one. Or in our pain and suffering.
Now look, I get it. No one wants to go through those dark experiences to get something that might or might not seem like “a gift.” I get that.
And yet, if we must go through them, and we must, then we might consider illuminating the scene, as above, in order to see the strange beauty in that part of our life.
If a loved one dies, we don’t want to think there are gifts associated with that loss. But in fact, there are. Whether we want to see them or not. They’re there.
When we go through terrible suffering, where are the gifts? I know, it’s hard to find them. Or even have the energy to look. But they’re there.
It’s difficult to think of positives associated with any kind of suffering.
And yet….
If you comment today, I’d love for you to share one gift that came out of something difficult that happened to you. Just one.
Thank you.
And don’t forget our full range of supportive gifts for those who are grieving or healing, right here on this site. Be an angel on earth and send someone this beautiful support today. Or let us do that for you if you buy one of our gift packages. Thank you.
I love this post Carol, there’s truth and wisdom in your words. Having just lost my father I am still looking for the positives but as you say, I’m sure they’re there for me to find.
With my father’s death I gained a family. It’s hard when you ponder the what if this hadn’t happened to consider the fact that they would no longer be a part of my life. <3
I have learned so much about tough love with my middle son. It has also taught me to never say never when it comes to parenting. Hug, love, give space. 🙂
The gift for me upon the loss of my parents is no more worry about how their lives would end, or concern for how much they would suffer. I miss them terribly, but am glad they are at peace. They also did not live long enough to endure the loss of my sister.
I lost the life that I had built for 16+ years. Now, I have the chance to build a new life filled with new dreams, new goals and new connections. It hurt like hell to go through it. But, the beauty of losing everything is you get to paint a new life out of the ashes.
You are still right. There is a gift in everything that unfolds. Light, after all, is only possible because there is dark.
When my mother in law passed away she left me a beautiful gift. My husband and I had 4 sons and after she died I really felt that we would have one more baby and it would be a girl I would name after her. It happened just as I envisioned it and my daughter is my best friend today.
My (only) sister died 2 years ago and our family was devastated. She was ONLY 43!! Despite the deep loss, the gift that came out of it is that I have gotten so much closer to my aging mom and dad. I feel a deep sense of responsibility to take care of them as the only daughter remaining. It;s a precious gift to get to know them on a deeper level and spend time with them at as they age.
The holidays and certain days of the year are a hard pill for me to swallow. After losing over 10 people including my Mom in the span of two years…I really appreciate the gifts I come in to that bring a smile to my face.
My grandpa suffered from dementia for years before he passed away. So it was a gift to know that he is whole again after he passed. 🙂
I lost my mom in 2010 and it has been hard not having her around. However, I still sense that she is with us at times. I wish she could have seen my youngest son. He was conceived around the time she passed so I feel it was her gift to me.
My grandfather passed away a year ago. The best think I ever got from him was the compassion he showed to us all in his own unique way. I was also able to get the snow globe i got him for a Christmas gift when I was like 5, back.
We were in a serious car accident years ago. It left us with permanent injuries but it also left us with a change in priorities. We now know so much more clearly what really matters in life.
We will all go through hardships, darkness and pain. I think it’s how we see things after that will matter. I have received gifts of friendship after some of those moments.
I wrote something similar once after a meditation retreat. The post was called “The Value of Suffering” I learned many of the same things as you speak of. Finding the value in pain can be the most transformative and healing experience.
My cousin is fighting for her life. She has stage 4 pancreatic cancer that spread to her liver. She recently became blind after having her skin burned off and organs cooked due to an allergic reaction to sulfur.
It’s been a tough year but I’m still able to celebrate the wins. She is in chemo and just found out some of her tumors have shrunk. She taught me to appreciate the little wins. They help keep us going.
I agree, everything happens for a reason, no matter how painful or difficult the circumstance may be. Trying to see the good in every situation always works for me.
I agree, everything happens for a reason, no matter how painful or difficult the circumstance may be. Trying to see the good in every situation always works for me.
My Mom passed away the summer after I graduated from high school and I still feel her around me sometimes. When something good/weird happens and it reminds me of her I call it a “Mom Moment” and I just say thanks Mom!
I agree that even with loved ones dying you can see gifts that come from it! Always looking at the positive is a great thing.
Often we find the most epic beauty in the darkness! I love that image you shared!
Having emotional conditions as a child caused me to be irresponsible as a young adult. Due to this, I changed jobs more than most people change their underwear. HOWEVER, due to having so many jobs, specifically in areas of public relations, sales, hospitality, and advertising, it enabled me to be excellent at what I do today professionally. I now have two professions I have stuck with for decades and I love them.
Very wise words, and ones I really needed to hear. It is too often hard to find the light.
I love this. My Mom passed in August of 2015. That Christmas I was all alone and missing her terribly. My friend who is a medium, called me on Christmas eve. She said my Mom wanted to know why I didn’t decorate for Christmas. There was no way my friend could have known that as she hadn’t been to my house in months. I burst into tears. My friend said that Mom was young again and happy and she wanted me to be happy as well. I’ll never forget that.
The running theme that I love so much from your posts is about finding the hope and light int he midst of what can seem to be your darkest days.
Thank you, Danielle!
It’s so important to leave yourself open to the gifts that loss can bring. Change always brings gifts, and loss is nothing more than the most painful change. Love this.