It’s always a surprise when I realize I don’t feel how I am supposed to feel.
Or rather, “supposed to feel.” Because there is no rule for it.
Oh, I know, I know, it seems like there is. We all operate on archetypes and myths about the way life is, the way people should be or respond. What is “appropriate.”
So when I found myself responding in a certain way to certain events and that’s plural (after all, I have some years of experience), I was mighty surprised. Because it wasn’t how I thought I’d respond. And because most people would assume that I’d be more emotional or maybe even conciliatory in some cases. And I did go through that at first.
And then, after processing my feelings about what had transpired during each event, my mind settled. I realized I wasn’t attached to any outcome. That whatever happened would be fine by me. Or rather, that I would be fine, no matter what happened.
See, that’s the secret: we can cope with just about anything. Turns out, some stuff we think should matter, doesn’t.
But sshhhh! Don’t tell anyone! They might miss all the stress and emotion involved with resisting it!
I get that completely. So many things the world holds dear (especially going into war), leaves me cold. I never get it.
I have found that at work I get all huffy and puffy about a thing that turns out to be a non-thing and it all works out in the end
That’s a real lesson for us all!