Let it hurt.
Let it bleed.
Let it heal.
And let it go.
-Nikita Gill
Is there anything more painful than family wounds? I don’t think there is and I speak from experience.
That pain is much like grief. Heck, it IS grief, isn’t it? It’s the death of how we hoped our family would be. Our dreams.
Speaking from experience I can say with confidence that wounds inflicted by family — within the family — do not have to drive us in any way.They can pass over us without long-term impact, as long as we’re willing to do the work.
This is the very best advice I’ve ever seen:
Let it hurt.
Let it bleed.
Let it heal.
And let it go.
Massage the wound. Feel through the pain. Don’t be afraid to let it out, all of it. Cry, scream, wail and gnash your teeth if it helps.
And then, in time, it will begin to heal.
Let it.
You’ll see that you no longer need that wound. It’s lost its power over your life.
And once it is healed, let it go.
This is entirely possible. I know because I did it.
You can, too.
I’m still working on some wounds ❤️
As far as that goes, we are all works in progress.
None of us are immune to this. Have you thought about wounds you have caused?
Yes, that’s the point. It’s a human condition. And absolutely. I’m grateful for the many years of really good therapy that helped me heal and also helped me face the things I needed to and talk this out with those who had open hearts. That’s the only reason my husband and I are so happy today. Also, I come with my own open heart–I’ve never had a mean bone in my body, although I’ve certainly met my share of mean people. Some people are so damaged there can be no reconciliation and that is ok, too. Both parties must be open-hearted for any real change. I’ve tried my best to open doors and talk things out– and that has resulted in the valued family relationships I now have. There’s a level of intimacy and engagement that I hadn’t known in the past. As for those with whom it’s not been possible, I’ve let go. I bless them with loving kindness and wish them a good life. I’m busy with my own. I can’t say I’ve ever been more at peace. And may we all awaken to the light of our true natures as eternal beings of love. (Nice to see you here, Mary Ellen…)
“Both parties must be open-hearted for any real change.” I’ve reached the let it go phase of healing and this phrase helped me with the guidance I didn’t even realize I was seeking.
Thank You
Jess, it’s very true. Some people hold on to grudges and their feelings of being wronged forever. All you can do is send them love and light and move on.
Just talked to a friend this morning about this! What is hard are the continuing jabs that they have no idea they are doing, mostly because of narcissism. Sometimes I really think that they think they are helping… It’s the continual “let it go” that is exhausting. Trying to avoid if at all possible!
Thank you for your thoughts!
Yes, so true. Then again, sometimes people are just mean spirited. It’s hard to not engage and to shake it off. I feel you, Melanie.
Yes, that can be so true. Other times? They’re just mean-spirited. So letting go is the only response.
I find my own family wounds can be purged, healed and forgotten.
What I struggle most with are those wounds inflicted by loved ones on loved ones (other than me) that I had no power to prevent.
The process should be the same, right?
Ah, Diane. A discussion we should have one day! xoxo