As I write this I am shaken to the core by a terrible accident that happened to someone I love. Something that could’ve taken her life and that of her wonderful dog. So I can’t help thinking about how life seems so random. How things happen to people who simply do not deserve them. What’s it all mean? How do we live life fully?
And this is where I ended up:
We are not in control.
It’s pretty clear that life is not under our control. Sure, we can do certain things right and sometimes it works out. But sometimes it doesn’t. What happens can appear random because we’re just not privy to all the reasons. No, we do not control everything that happens, as much as we might think we do. And I have been particularly guilty of that thinking.
The smallest decision can have huge consequences. Life or death consequences.
The decision to leave the house early or late. The decision to drive an SUV instead of a compact that day. Changing a route. Again, we don’t know when a decision we make will make the difference between life and death and that’s a shocking realization.
Bad things can happen to good people.
This probably bothers me more than any other aspect of life. It’s unfair. One of the purest, nicest people I know has had a really rough road in her life. It is really inexplicable, because she, of all people, deserves more.
But again, we are not in control. It’s not about how deserving we are. We just don’t know the rationale.
Boy, is that hard for me to accept.
The world is still full of Good Samaritans.
After that terrible car accident a big bunch of Good Samaritans rushed to help before fire rescue arrived. They turned her car from its roof onto its side and cut the airbags so they could get her and her dog out. Just this fact moves me to tears.
Here’s a not-so-random thought: I am going to bet some were supporters of that awful man in the Oval Office. I say that because I know the city demographic well. And regardless, they instinctively moved to help. One wonders. But is grateful.
Miracles happen.
Inexplicable things happen. They can be bad things —but they can also be good things. We don’t control which. There is a plan, even if we don’t see it.
The bottom line
Understanding how life unfolds in ways mysterious, sometimes good, sometimes challenging, can help us lead our very best lives, making the most of every moment. To live fully, as fully as we can.
And to be grateful when miracles show up in our lives.
So true, Carol. And I’m glad to hear your friend and her pup are ok. I remember reading a story about a husband who was going through his wife’s clothes and finding things she was saving for a special occasion, which turned out to be her funeral. She never wore them when she was alive because she didn’t think anything was special enough. Not realizing that LIFE was special enough.
Years later I don’t know whether it was fiction or non-fiction but it had an impact on me. When I got divorced in 2004 and was cleaning out the closets of the house I was selling, I found a wedding gift that of beautiful Irish linen that I only used once in 15 years of marriage. What a waste. After that I decided to “use the linen.” But I think I like “eat the cupcake” better. And I’ll eat that with the silverware that I received from my first wedding!
What a scary thing to have happen. I still believe we have control over much of our lives and can create our own reality but not totally. Some things happen by chance and for no apparent reason. I’m glad they both survived and hope they are doing well. Life is not something to be wasted and the majority of people are good even if we don’t always agree with them.
Yasss! It’s so important to live for moments because they slip away so easily.