It isn’t until we’ve suffered a great loss that we see our mortality close up and personal. Right now, we’re writing the story of our lives, but we can not grasp that it’s in disappearing ink.
And then, a loved one makes their transition and sometimes it can feel like “What happened? Where did he go? How did that happen?”
All we know is this life. One breath after another, one step after another, one life event after another. We march through without recognizing how finite this life is and how every breath, step and event will one day be memories.
This is something I struggle with every time a loved one dies.
The other day I was at a restaurant where my late friend and I had a wonderful lunch the year she died. I looked at “our” table–yes, I remember it–and I even remember where we were sitting. I can even pull up how it felt to be there with her.
What I CAN’T fathom is that she is gone. She has disappeared.
Our mortality is, arguably, the hardest reality we ever have to face. No one gets out of here alive. No one. Not even us.
But is that such a bad thing?
Sure, we’ll miss those we leave behind. But if we have a belief in something more, transition is likely to be an amazing thing. And if it’s all about love and peace? And if our lost loved ones greet us?
What’s so bad about that? It would be a refreshing change from the travails of our earth.
Here’s the thing: we’re all moving on one day and while we don’t like to think about it, making peace with that fact allows us to live our lives here more fully.
Mortality is the hardest thing we face. But face it we must one day. Why not learn to make peace with it now?
Death is the ultimate mystery. Where do people go? And yet, I think the spirit world is all around us. We just can’t see with our human eyes.
My husband has cancer. Even though I am a Christian I fear him leaving me. I am not sure that we meet again on the other side but I guess we won’t care.
Hi Carol. Yes, this topic is very near and dear to my heart these days. With my sister very close to her death I have written a post for my blog as well. I am so blessed to be a writer so that we can process the experience in a way that makes sense to me. May we all find the peace that we seek. ~Kathy
Hi Carol. Yes, this topic is very near and dear to my heart these days. With my sister very close to her death I have written a post for my blog as well. I am so blessed to be a writer so that we can process the experience in a way that makes sense to me. May we all find the peace that we seek. ~Kathy
Its 8 years since I lost my mum and over time her loss completely changed how I saw myself however, It wasn’t until I came across a quote by Rufus Wainwright “YOU’’RE BORN TWICE, ONCE AT YOUR BIRTH AND AGAIN WHEN YOUR MOTHER DIES” that I got it. As a result the trajectory of my life completely changed along with my views of the world, some long held beliefs and the understanding of what really matters.
Lately there have been a whole bunch of people I know dying way before their time. It’s really alarming. One day they’re here and all of a sudden they’re not. They disappear, just as you said.
Loosing someone will definitely be hard for every person but what is important is the mark and the lesson that we learned from that event. just think that there is always a reason for everything that has happened to us.
If only I could look at life in such a way. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok when a loved one passes on. I think it makes it easier when I know they have been sick and suffering.
You made me cry reading this post. My mom is very ill right now and it breaks my heart to see her getting weaker and weaker by the day. I can only hope and pray that she would be with us a little longer.
Death is a very difficult subject! Losing someone you love is never easy.
Death is such a tough subject. I feel that if we celebrate what we have taken and given from the deceased, it brings a kind of content peace. Honestly though, everyone deals and comprehends differently.
That’s so true. Losing someone we love is the hardest thing. But we can only move forward and keep the memory alive.
I would like to hope that we aren’t just all forgotten. I keep the memory alive of my ancestors and hope that my kids will do the same, passing on their stories to their kids.
I lost my mother a year ago and it still is too fresh to deal with. I didn’t want her to disappear yet that is what happens, we clean up their things and the void is there.
Yes, everyone dies, as is the case with all living things. I don’t consider life to disappear, I like to think peole leave something behind.
It is a tough pill to swallow and that saying “here today gone tomorrow” is an accurate description of life. I know that I don’t want to suffer in the end and hope that I don’t.
I miss my momma but I live with the hope knowing I will see her smiling face again.
If only we could all realize how little time we actually spend on this earth, in this form. And not waste it on greed and destruction.
You and I are on the same page with that! as we are with so many things.
I have lost people in my lives in it is hard to go through. It is a place in your heart that you may never get back again. They’re always gone but never forgotten. And I always try to keep the memories alive as much as I can.
Learning to accept one’s mortality is a touchy subject. I think it naturally comes easier for some people and harder for others. It’s important to face reality of our lives.
I think for many people its not death, but the dying that’s so scary. Every day on the news we see people (young and old) die in horrifying, sudden ways. I know that’s what keeps me awake many nights. I believe once on the other side, all is fine, but that transition looks tricky..
People can go but their memory remains. It’s really important that we influence other people so we can leave a good imprint.
The whole concept of death and how to deal with it as someone “left behind” is really fascinating and complex. I don’t know the right answer, but I know that everyone has to do and believe what makes sense to them.
People move on from this life physically and that part hurts initially especially when it’s unexpected, but death is part of the journey. I just want to leave being a Godly legacy for my family.
I absolutely agree, Carol! Peace in time we’re in!
My brother passed away when I was 10 and he was 3. I am acutely aware of this and feel its effects nearly every day. It makes me want to fill each moment with nothing but things that bring me joy, like writing to you!
This is true! I just try to live my life as fully as I can before I go. I also try to stay positive, because being negative would lead to having a depressing life, and no thank you.
Great post and I love your outlook on this topic. I agree that mortality is one of the hardest things that we have to face no matter if we want to or not.
They may be gone but not forgotten. Through our journals, family history and other things left behind we will always remember them.