So many issues as far as oncology is concerned: treatment, support, truth, more.
If you are a support person or loved one of someone with cancer, I hope you’ll read this piece by an oncology nurse I met through my other blog.
Cancer treatment can be brutal. I’ve been in infusion rooms, it’s obvious. So it’s easy to miss that progress has been made in chemo and other treatment. I know I missed it entirely.
Don’t get me wrong: still brutal. In a few decades people are going to say “Can you believe they used to POISON people to treat cancer?”
But Victoria’s insights gave me a little different angle. A look back, if you will, by someone who knows oncology in a way I don’t.
I’ve also read a lot about whether patients should be told “everything” or just “what they want to hear,” so I was interested in feedback from a professional who’s been with these patients. And I also believe she provides helpful input to those who are looking to be of service.
By Victoria E.
Back in 1984 when I graduated from college with my nursing degree I had no idea in what direction my career would go. I started out on a medical-surgical floor, moved from there to the operating room. I loved the OR. I hurt my knee skiing and had to be on light duty for awhile and the slowest paced OR room was the urology room so I did urology till I left the OR. I went through a number of positions until I ended up in Columbus, Oh at the cancer hospital.
I got the position due to my experience with urology. They needed a nurse that could do the different urologic procedures for cancer patients. In this clinic, I worked with mostly men, we took care of a lot of prostate cancer patients, bladder cancer, and some kidney cancer. I also got floated to other areas of the clinic so I worked with every type of cancer.
The big difference between when I started at the clinic and when I retired was the advances made in cancer treatment. In 1991 when I started at the clinic people came in for their treatments on gurneys by ambulance and in wheelchairs, by the time I retired in 2015 people would come in on their lunch hour from work. Yes, there is still a lot of IV chemotherapy given but instead of every week some folks get treatment every three weeks, they have a portable IV so they can get treatment at home and there is chemo that comes in pill form. The world of cancer changed in 24 years.
Every diagnosis is an individual diagnosis, no two people react the same to the diagnosis or the treatment. Family and friends react differently than the patient. Faith played a large part with some patients and their families. You had patients who heard their diagnosis and took it up on themselves to learn everything there was to know regarding the diagnosis and treatment. And folks who wanted to know as little as possible and just wanted to do what ever the doctor offered.
Patients that wanted to be informed would search out everything there was to know and a lot of times knew more at some point than the nurses did. These patients would arrive with a briefcase full of information, they would know every treatment that was available and every clinical trial and where the trials were being offered.
It was hard sometimes to determine which patients/family wanted to know it all and who just wanted the minimum. The patients that didn’t let cancer become their life seemed happier. These patients continued celebrating the holidays, they visited friends and family they took their vacations.
Cancer in this day is not an automatic death sentence but there is cancer that has fewer treatment options or is harder to treat. And some cancer becomes more active as time passes. It was always so hard when a patient was told that everything that could be done had been. This usually meant the patient would no longer come in to see the doctor. We formed relationships with our patients and we might have been seeing them for a year or more. The nurses have special relationships with a patient, we answered the questions that they felt would just tie up the doctors time.
Most patients are not good about asking for help. And a spouse or other family member may be over whelmed with all that has to be done.and they aren’t comfortable asking for help either. If you are a patients, think about what you might want someone to do for you, pick up groceries, cook a meal, pick up prescriptions, drive them to appointments– there is any number of things that need to be done… (note from Carol: if you are a loved one, be proactive in offering specific services, such as those Victoria mentions.)
Remembering that the patient is still able to make decisions and can function as the adult they are is very important. Sometimes family and friends think they are helping by treating a patient like they are invalid or can no longer function as they always have, this does a disservice to the patient.
Here’s a little about Victoria:
Beautifully written. i’ve been the spouse of a cancer patient and know how valuable all the offers of assistance from other people are. I also know how hard it is to accept those offers. I also know that nurses are invaluable! Thanks for sharing!
Thank God cancer research has come as far as it has, and hopefully will continue by leaps and bounds, and of course, for the frontline of defense – nurses!
Thank you Victoria for sharing us your story. Your such a great nurse and person. You’re an inspiration in this kind of field.
I’ve lost family members to cancer and it’s such a hard thing for all involved. This is a really wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
It is amazing to realize how far cancer treatment has come. So true about attitudes. While I, the spouse, was freaking out about what could happen, my husband, the cancer patient, said “I’m not going to worry about things I can’t control. What’s the point?” He was (and still is) amazing.
Wow, I thought I was one of the only people who didn’t want to know or hear about the illness. When my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia, I tried to act like she was never diagnosed. My sister was the complete opposite finding out everything. I know that’s not exactly the point here, but I found that very comforting. Thank you for sharing!
A really interesting insight, I always find it fascinating to read about other people’s careers. To be an oncology nurse you must have strength , heart and grace. Thanks for sharing your story Victoria.
I so deeply respect, admire and value all nurses and carers n the entire planet. This is such a tough job, not just physically. From my mum’s family side all females are in care careers, all my aunties and cousins are nurses. I looked after a very close friend and after my dad in law. I could not do this for people who aren’t family or close friends. Chapeau and a deep bow to all nurses who do a brilliant tough job.
I enjoyed reading this perspective. So much has changed. Hoping that we always have more money for research, treatments, and cures.
Very insightful, Victoria. Thank you, Carol, for getting a nurse’s point of view. I have seen many changes, too, in treatment for cancer in my nursing career that started in 1979. I really hate it when a doctor tells a patient, ‘There is nothing else we can do for you.” Because palliative care and hospice is still doing something for someone and it gives them hope they won’t die without symptom management and support.
When I was in nursing school, I did clinicals on the cancer floor. I felt it would have been a rewarding area to work in. I really enjoyed reading this post.
Such a challenging topic, but I’m grateful Victoria was willing to share her story. Cancer is such a scary topic but knowing what to expect when someone we love is going through it helps.
This is great! Thanks for sharing this! It’s great to know what you should do in case someone you love got sick.
Wow what an incredible story and thank you for sharing! I’ve have so any family members go through cancer treatments i wish there was a better way!
I think it’s true to say that every one have loved ones whose lives have been changed forever by cancer. Hopefully treatment will continue to advance and one day there will be a cure. Thank you Victoria for sharing the story!
Very insightful! While I know people that have had cancer, I have not had an up close and personal view of the actual treatments. Very informative and helpful. I will have to keep this in mind when I encounter those going through such a difficult process.
I am in the infusion room at my clinic every 8 weeks to get treatment for my autoimmune disorder. The nurses do become like family when you see them so often. I appreciate it when they treat you like a person and not a patient. Many of the cancer patients I have gotten to know do carry on and don’t let cancer slow them down. One should definitely be defined by their illness, so a good medical support team that can offer advice and support is such a blessing for anyone battling a disease like that.
My dad passed away in 1992 due to lung cancer which spread and gave him bone cancer as well. It is so heart breaking to see someone you love dearly to go through the harsh treatments. I have somuch respect to the nurses in Oncology and in the Medical Intensive Care Unit. Their hearts are pure compassion.
This is a really good post. I like he part about remembering that the patient is still an adult and can make their own decisions.
I feel as a professional, it’s our job to make sure they know as many details as possible. It’s their life and their body they have a right to know. We don’t have the right to make that judgement call.
That is so interesting. I can’t imagine working from the medical side.
It must have been so hard to work in a Cancer Center. I hope we can continue moving forward with finding better treatments and a cure for Cancer.
It truly is amazing the difference in the types of treatments used through the years. It’s also amazing that there have also been a lot of research done on alternative treatments that sometimes work even better than the poisons that were being used!
Seeing first-hand how the treatment of cancer has changed over the years must be wild. This perspective is very interesting.
Thank you for sharing your insight. This was a very touching post, I am going to Tweet it.
Very interesting perspective. I think that cancer isn’t easy for anyone. It’s so hard to know what’s right and wrong, we often don’t know how to treat our loved ones as our heart aches for them. Thank you for sharing this post to give me some insight from another perspective.
It is angels like Victoria that help keep hope alive during such a difficult time. I am sure her job is far from easy, both on a physical and emotional level.
Wow, this was such an interesting post to read. We rarely hear about it from other perspectives like this.
So many friends and loved ones have won or lost their battle with cancer. We must keep fighting for a cure for them all! Great post! I appreciate this post.
Great perspective. I look forward to the day when we don’t poison to the brink of death with chemo. It has come a long way and thank goodness for people like Victoria who offer not only their expertise but their compassion!
A HUGE thanks to Victoria for sharing her story! I think it’s so amazing to see the other side of cancer treatment and how medical staff try to make patients feel comfortable and STILL like people instead of just patients.
Oh wow. What a wonderful post. It’s so interesting to hear the medical side of this issue. I especially love the way she talks about working with patients in a way that maintains their dignity.