Every year we visit Maui with friends. This year was different though.
It’s always peaceful. But this time, my mind was peaceful, too. I didn’t feel a big push to do anything. Not sightsee, not cook, not anything.
“That’s what it’s like here,” said our friend Danny. “And that’s your agenda: do nothing.”
I come from a father who had a strong work ethic, one that became part of my life, too. Even as I entered and went through my 60s, I felt no stress at still working. It just wasn’t time for me to do nothing.
That time will come, I know. It comes for us all.
I know some people who make the choice earlier than maybe I would in their position. People without any financial security but who are an age when, well, they’re tired. They’re done. They call it early and I always send up a prayer that it works out for them.
Others I know have had that do-nothing transition forced on them through layoff or disability. That’s an entirely different story. Some rise to the occasion. Some do not.
This is in fact the first year that doing nothing has intrigued me. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not ready yet. But the day is coming, I can sense it.
How will I know when it’s time?I’m so glad you asked!
There are so many factors and believe me, I’ve been through them all. If making that kind of change is something you’d like to consider, I invite you to join me in Jordan to learn just how to figure out if it’s time for doing nothing. Or for doing something different.
You may think you are unprepared. Or you may think you’re prepared. Either way, we’ll reality test it on retreat. Together. All of us. Supporting one another as we walk through these life changes.
Give me a call and let’s talk about whether this retreat is for you. You can schedule a call on theretreat website. And oh by the way, you might want to look at some of the details!
It’s a free webinar and discussion about how we can manage through change of any kind. It’s Wed., Sept. 11 at 11amPDT/2pmEDT and you can register for free right here!
Whether it’s stage of life, health, job, empty nest or something else, change can make or break us. Believe me, I’ve had my challenges with life changes. So what I’ve learned has been through some hard experience:
I moved across country several times, without job or any familiarity with the region.
Like all of us, I have had relationship changes.
Both job and career changes.
Jobs gone bad–oh yes, that, too.
Financial challenges were part of the mix.
I watched a husband go through the loss of his beloved daughter.
I grieved my own losses.
Did I mention menopause?
I started a business on a wish and a prayer.
You’re probably thinking, “well, that’s life!” and it is. Life is all about change. Some of it quite daunting.
I’ll be sharing a useful way to approach change and manage through it as well as possible. Yes, even when you don’t want it.
There are so many times life asks us to step up and adapt to something new. To adapt to change.
Some change is mostly joyful:
A new baby. A child going to school. An empty nest that means the launch of a child into adulthood. A new job representing new hope. A new home.
And then there’s the other kind of change. The ones that challenge us at our deepest core. That require us to adapt in ways we don’t want to or might even resist.
Anyone who loses a loved one, as I have this season, knows the big change is the void that remains, that space that our loved one took up in our lives.
And those who are challenged by serious illness know that in the heartbeat it takes to get a diagnosis, a new path opens up and it’s fraught with anxiety.
The challenge of the new path in front of us
These things challenge our core beliefs–what we have said we believe in.
Those of us who believe in life after life now have to contend with the transition of a loved one. We say we’ll see them again, but really, we want them here, with us now.
Those of us who believe that life goes on have to address our belief that life here and its troubles, like disease, are transitory.
Yes, some changes challenge our deepest beliefs.
I believe in wallowing in it
It’s important to wallow in our sadness or grief–I know, you probably didn’t expect me to write that. But we really have to feel it to walk through it and there’s no way to avoid walking through it. We can do it now or we can do it later, but we will walk through our sadness. So sob and scream and rail at fate or God however long you have to.
(I hate this stage: crying in the shower, bursting into tears every time I think “he used to…”, my face puffy and red and sad all the time. Sobbing when someone expresses sympathy. But eventually, one day, it ends. It took a way long time to walk through it after my mother passed. But I did walk through it.)
And when you’re ready, begin to think. Because we’re made up of both thinking (cognitive) and emotion (grief expressions).
Think about your core beliefs about spirituality and consider how those beliefs relate to what you are going through now. What perspective do they lend?
Do you believe in more than what we see and feel here on earth? Do you believe that there is an afterlife in which you will be healed and whole? Do you believe you will see your loved ones again there? Do you pray for strength to get through treatment and setbacks?
I’ve found these thoughts a safe haven for the times when my heart hurts so badly because of the change demanded of me I think I’ll never get over it. I’ve tested my core beliefs and as it turns out, they really ARE a comfort.
But only when I’m ready.
I’d love for you to share so others, like me, may benefit: what’s your experience?
I hope you’ll visit the gifts section at A Healing Spirit and take advantage of the very low prices on gifts that can help those being asked to walk a new path of healing or grief.